First Light Midwife

Ma, Lookee What I Made!

2011-01-08T10:54:00.000-08:00

Ok, this is a first for me. I have a dear friend, Suzan, who asked me to make her a Yarmulke. I don't know if any of you out there have ever looked for patterns for knitting one of those, but they're few and far between, even with Google and the internet.

I had been busy knitting with some lovely yarn that I bought a few months ago. My son Timothy will be leaving in three short days to go to Egypt for a semester, to study abroad. Some of the things he needs to take are small gifts for people while he's there. So I was using this lovely yarn to make a scarf for him to take as a gift. The scarf reached its proper length, and I had some yarn left, so I promptly began a hat to go with it.

As I got some length on the hat, I realized I wouldn't after all have enough yarn to finish a proper hat with it! Suzan had asked for the yarmulke a few months back, so I just changed my goal midstream and continued knitting, not a hat now, but a yarmulke.

And I'm so proud of how it turned out! No pattern, just my design. It's a very simple design, but who wants a complicated design with hand-dyed yarn from Chile? Anyway, this is my first post with a pattern completely wrought by yours truly! I hope you like it!

Here are the instructions, if you would like to make one. I must say that this is such a comfortable little hat that I really didn't want to take it off!

Yarmulke

Yarn: Araucania, color Aysen (no. 827), 1 skein (If you will start with this project, you will have enough left for a nice matching scarf made with the same rib. I started with the scarf, and had to end the hat with a little bit of a scrap of other yarn. You can see it in one of the pictures!)

Needles: size 9 16" circular and DPN's, or size for gauge

Gauge: 5 sts/in. in K1 tbl, P1 rib pattern

This particular hat was knit to fit a 20" head, but it fits me, too, and my head is 22", so it has a lot of give. This is due to the very stretchy rib.

CO 100 sts on the circular needles, and join, being careful not to twist the stitches.

Row 1: *K1tbl (through back loop), P1* repeat around

Rep row 1 until work measures 3 in. from CO edge.

Place marker at end/beginning of row (if you haven't already).

Make 1 row of purl sts all around to delineate the crown of the cap.

Begin decreasing:

*K18, K2 tog, PM (place marker)* around

K 1 row

Dec row: *K to 2 sts before marker, K2 tog* around

Repeat dec row.

K 1 row

K 3 dec rows.

*K5, k2 tog, PM, K5 K2 tog, slip marker* around

K to 2 sts before marker, K2 tog

Repeat last row until there is only one stitch between markers. Remove markers at this time, and continue K2 tog until only 8 sts are left. Cut the yarn with a long tail and thread a blunt needle with it. Run it through rem sts twice, and draw it together. Use the yarn to pull together any gaps left at the end, and weave the ends through the knitting.

My Tribute

2010-07-23T13:35:00.001-07:00

The earliest memory I have of interacting with my Dad was sitting on his lap. I would sit there, and read to him, and he would teach me new words. This was before I turned five.

My dad was a maverick. He always went where God led him.

God gave him a special love for little brown Mexican children, and he went to Mexico. He always loved the little children, and they would gather around him. They knew he loved them. They would hang off the jeep as he drove through the colonia. He would buy them cookies and candy, so impractical for kids who didn't have enough to eat. But they loved it. He taught them songs about Jesus. Some of those kids are are in their upper 40's now, and they still remember the songs that Daddy taught them.

He touched so many lives. I have run across people in the most unlikely places who knew him way back when.

He went for a hunting trip one time in the mountains of Durango, and wound up being invited to preach in a little town, so he went. Later he took flying lessons so he could get there in a much shorter time. Then he took mechanic lessons so that he could put back together the airplane if he had to. He had to many times.

After that first village experience, people from other villages began to invite him to preach in their villages. And so it went. He would ask people to clear a landing strip for him, basically to clear it of rocks. When I flew with him to these remote mountain villages, he would try to point out the landing strips to me, but I never could see them. Somehow he did. And sometimes he would have to fly over the strip to scare away the cows that were standing on it in his way.

Sometimes he banged up the airplane. One time he brought the airplane home in pieces in the back of a big truck, and put it back together in our living room. I remember playing around the airplane pieces.

I remember loving to fly with my daddy. I remember the intense roar of the engine. We didn't have earphones. I loved singing on those trips, 'cause no one could hear me, not even myself. I remember loving to see the mountains under us, and never feeling afraid. I always wondered why some people would throw up in his airplane. The mountain people threw up a lot. He carried them in if they were sick, or for other emergency reasons.

When we flew home, Daddy would fly over our house. Our dog Tina would start to bark and run around in circles. Mom would grab a kitchen towel, run outside, and wave it at him to tell him she saw him. Then she would go pick him up at Bill Brown's ranch, where Bill let him land and keep the plane.

My daddy was a wallbuilder. He was a church planter. He loved people who were small and inconsequential, who didn't have any power or influence. No one can say how much of a difference his life made yet, but eternity will show it.

He was flawed, as all of us are, but he was faithful, and he was fun-loving. After suffering for 15 years with Parkinson's, today he is dancing a jig and flying with Jesus.

I love you, Daddy, and I will miss you, but I'm glad you are where you are now. Thanks for the reading time together. Thanks for showing me how to be committed to a life calling. I'm glad you were my Daddy.

Trip to Lebanon in pictures

2010-06-09T08:49:00.000-07:00

Today I don't have anything on my main "to do" list. No one is coming, I don't have to get groceries, and I don't have to go anywhere else (except the bank, and that chore will be short). So you will get the update with pictures that you've been waiting for. Hope you like it.

On May 6 Jackie and I left on our adventure. Last year I went to Lebanon by myself to deliver a baby, and I kept feeling like I had left my pocket handkerchief at home. (I think that's from The Hobbit. If not, then it's from The Fellowship of the Ring. Timothy will know.) Well, when we left together, I discovered that I didn't feel that way this time. I realized that Jackie is my pocket handkerchief! I loved that he and I went together on this adventure.

We drove to San Antonio and Emily took us out to eat Greek food (we realized the irony of eating Middle Eastern food right before we left for Lebanon, and laughed together!) and then drove us to the airport. I love the San Antonio airport. The lady at the check-in desk put us in adjoining seats all the way to Beirut. (That wasn't the case when we left Beirut; we were booked in separate seats all the way home. But we still managed to sit together!)

The trip was basically smooth, and we arrived in Beirut at about 11:15 pm local time on May 7. Jason was there to meet us, and we drove to Tyre, arriving there at about 1 am on May 8. He told us that this time was going to be different, that he thought Jenna was going to take her time getting here. I hugged Sarah briefly in the hallway in the dark before we all went to bed.

We spent the next week seeing the sights of Lebanon. First we went to the Cedar Tree Reserve. There aren't many cedar trees left in Lebanon, but they are trying to remedy that. Cedars are funny. The young trees don't look like the mature ones. I'm not sure at what point they change, but they really do change.

In the picture above, you can see the mature tree in the middle, and the young trees all around. Isn't the change strange?

"Our family" in the cedar trees of Lebanon.

After the cedars, we ate in Saida, the old Bible town of Sidon. This is the outdoor cafe at which we ate, and Jackie with the plates after we had eaten already! Not much left, I'm afraid.

Above is the outdoor cafe.

Across the street from it is a Crusader Castle/Fort. (If you stop to think about it, Crusader ruins are some of the more recent ruins in this area, from 1100-1200 AD.)

Next we visited a big mosque in Saida, and Sarah and I had to cover up, so we borrowed scarves from the gatekeeper.

Jackie took an amazing shot of the interior of the mosque with this lone praying man.

The next day was the day Jackie got sick, and he was sick all night and stayed in bed all the next day. Be thankful I don't have pictures.

The following day, Wednesday, we went to the beach.

Above is the city of Tyre.

This is as "uncovered" as Sarah gets to go swimming. Jude is in the foreground with the red flowered shorts.

I was showing a little more leg, but I didn't have very specific instructions about swimming attire, so I think I did pretty well overall.

Jackie and I went walking around the city by ourselves some. We went to a certain part of the beach and picked up old pieces of pottery that wash up from the old ruins of Tyre and from wrecks of ships off the coast. We walked around the souk, the marketplace, one day with Brenda. We walked around the old Roman bath ruins with Danny. Jason took us to the Hippodrome and the via Romana one day, and another he took us to the lighthouse and by the Tyre shipbuilder. Dani took us down some alleyways that made us think we were in old-time Bible days because they were soooo narrow. They felt like donkey trails, and probably were. Now they're paved. We sat in on several English classes and talked some with the students. And Jason took us to another Crusader Castle, this one where we could get a view of Mt. Hermon.

The grounds of the Roman baths.

Picking up pottery pieces.

On Saturday we went back to the beach and met all kinds of other friends there. It was really fun! Jackie felt good enough that he played ultimate frisbee with some of the other people. I enjoyed the wonderful ocean. We both got too much sun. Afterwards, we went back to Jason and Sarah's house and ordered pizza, and a bunch of other people came over and helped us eat it. Around 6 pm, most everyone was going home. It had been quite a day. But it was not over. Sarah started cleaning house! Finally, about 10 pm, I told her it was time to quit, but she kept vacuuming, saying she would feel better if it was done. She was having contractions.

She went to bed soon after, and woke up in labor at 1:30 am. It was May 16. Jason got me up at 3:30 or so, and when I checked her at 4 am, she was well on her way to having baby Jenna! It was a wonderful birth for Sarah. It went so smoothly and quickly. She didn't have any trouble pushing as she had done for Jude's birth. Baby Jenna was born at 6:14 am, and Jude woke up about 5 minutes later! It was really really special to me to be there for this birth! And now I will have to leave the three days of Ireland for another post. This takes a lot of time....

Beautiful babies!

Picture of Baby Jenna!

2010-05-16T10:17:00.000-07:00

Ok, everybody, here's the picture! Full head of hair, 8 lbs 10 oz, lovely lovely baby girl born at home in Tyre!

Jenna...

2010-05-16T03:34:00.001-07:00

Jenna made her entrance into this world this morning Lebanon time at 6:14 a.m.

Her mom went into labor at 1:30 a.m., so it was a perfect labor -- not too long, not too short. She was born at home! She weighs 8 lbs. 10 oz and is 21 3/4 inches long. Mom and baby and Daddy are resting, and Jude is with some friends, playing. Jackie is helping some people move into a new apartment, and I'm going to go lie down, like the Kerners....

Everyone is very, very happy that Jenna is here! Sarah was delighted with her birth! We know that it's all good when the baby is born healthy and whole, but this was even more special, and we know Who to thank. We give praise to God that we came to Lebanon in good time and had some wonderful days showing Jackie the sights and getting to visit with friends that I made last year.

I will post a picture later. Thank you all for praying.

Jackie's Better

2010-05-12T04:56:00.000-07:00

Better than what, you may ask? Better than he was yesterday. He had a bad stomach flu or virus or food poisoning. Anyway, it hit him on Monday night during a prayer time we were having with our friends. And he spent all night miserable, then the next day (yesterday), in bed all day. Yuck!

He was better by last night, and this morning was good enough that we went to the beach. We jumped a few waves and searched for a few shells before he spent the rest of the time sitting on the sand. But he got out. And he's better. And I'm so glad.

We came on home for lunch and fixed Mexican food!! I brought some tortillas with me and we had tacos, and I fixed some Mexican rice, too. Jason and Sarah loved it, and so did we! Jude didn't get much to eat, because he was so tired that he fell asleep as soon as he was cleaned up.

Anyway, I thought I would let everyone know that Jackie's better. I had posted on Facebook that he was sick. Thank you for praying.

I will continue to keep you posted as to baby. Right now there's no news. Baby Jenna hasn't arrived. The birth pool is patched and ready to go, the heating pad has been tried and found true, and we played in the ocean today, so maybe we'll have a baby tomorrow...

Lebanese doings

2010-05-09T11:17:00.000-07:00

Hi everybody!

Today we went to see the cedars of Lebanon. Jackie says that ranks right up there with the Great Wall of China and Mt. Rushmore. It was an all-day trip, sort of. We started out around 11:30 after a breakfast of Belgian waffles and fresh strawberries and cream, or peanut butter and maple syrup.

The trip to the cedar reserve was north and east of Saida, the old-time Bible town of Sidon. The old cedars are amazing. We got some pictures, but they don't do the trees justice.

We came back to Saida and had a wonderful dinner/supper at around 4 pm. We had fresh fried fish (each of us had one whole fish), french fries, salad, hummus, baba ganoush, tahine, and fresh juice (orange and mango). It was an open-air restaurant, and everyone around us was smoking water pipes. It was a Sunday afternoon, and all the families were out.

Then we walked on the corniche, the sea wall, took a picture or two of a crusader castle(!), and went into a big mosque.

No baby yet. Sarah is lovely, 9 months pregnant. Will update later. Much love to all.

Safe and Sound

2010-05-08T03:13:00.000-07:00

We are in Lebanon! It's wonderful to see Sarah and Jason again, and to meet a much bigger Jude than I left last year! We got here this morning about 1 am, and I slept till 9:30 am and Jackie till 11:00. All our connections were smooth. The only delay was in London; we sat on the tarmac for a while, and the line of airplanes waiting to take off was long.

Sarah is not in labor, so that's good. Maybe she'll wait a little longer this time to go into labor. Last time, she only waited 4 hours after I got here to go into labor.

Haven't checked heart tones on the baby. But Sarah says the baby is moving fine! All my equipment came through okay, so that's a big praise. Except for a bedpan, which broke; no big deal. I had my Doppler in my carryon, and expected the security people to ask me about it, but nobody did! Crazy.

Jason and Jackie just went out to get vegetables for our lunch. We will go see some Lebanese friends this afternoon. I'm loving being here again.

Happy Mother's Day to the best mom ever! I love you, Mom!

Off Again

2010-05-04T07:31:00.001-07:00

It's a bad thing when you have to look up your password to post a blog, because it's been sooo long since you posted! Maybe some of you have given up on me. I think I post so seldom because I think my life is not really all that different from yours most of the time. I don't have a huge need to let everyone know what is happening in our daily lives....

But this time it's big again. Jackie and I are off to Lebanon in two days! For me it's a return trip. I was there last year in February. For Jackie it's a first. And I'm so excited he's going with me!

We will be going for a repeat try of a home waterbirth with Jason and Sarah, who are expecting baby #2 sometime around the middle of May. I am very hopeful of a good birth for Sarah. I will try to keep you all updated as I can (it can be kind of iffy sometimes there with electricity/internet problems).

We will fly out from San Antonio on May 6, and arrive in Beirut on May 7, late. Jason will be there to pick us up and take us the rest of the way to Tyre. The trip will not be much longer than 24 hours, not bad for going that distance. We will stop over in Washington, DC and London on the way. We will be in Tyre through May 21 (as plans stand), then head back through London and detour through Ireland for 3 days on the way back. A mini-vacation. We should be back in Texas on May 25.

Please pray with us that all my midwifery tools/equipment get there fine, and that the birth will go well. And that the volcano in Iceland will behave itself.

I am so looking forward to seeing all my friends from Lebanon again! It's so far away from here, that I seldom get to see them, so this is a huge happiness for me.

I will try to post pictures from there, but you know...the electricity and internet....

God redeems

2010-01-03T13:13:00.000-08:00

No pictures with this post, but oh! what a day!

I loved doing this birth with Sorani! (see http://www.compassionatemidwifery.com) First birth of the year, of the decade! (For me, of course!) I had planned to do it with April, but she was in Missouri. Sorani basically arrived at 6:50 am and "held the fort" for me until I could get there at 7:43.

Barbara (name changed) called me at 4:20 am -- actually she texted me. Contractions had awakened her at 3 am, and were 5 to 10 minutes apart. She got up and they promptly went to every 5 minutes. I couldn't decide whether or not to go, because she had had some prodromal (read: preparatory) contractions the day before. I didn't know if it was the real deal yet. I finally decided to come, thinking I would hate to miss the birth because of indecision. It was a 3-hour drive from my house. I decided this at about 5 am, and I was on the road at 5:20 am, following a text from Barbara that contractions were now every 3 minutes. I called Sorani to give her a heads up.

Chris (name changed) called me about 6 am to ask where the Chux pads were. (In the birth kit.) I asked him then if Barbara wanted Sorani to come on, since she was just 35 minutes away from their home. Barbara wanted Sorani, so she got ready and went.

I was close to downtown Dallas when Chris called and told me that the baby had been born! I was a little surprised but not much, then I asked if the baby was breathing. He said yes, then said that Sorani was there. As close as I can guess, it was 7:15 am. I didn't know it, but he was joking!! The baby hadn't been born, but I believed him! I slowed my speed down from 70 to 60, and cruised in. Chris asked me to pick up some breakfast at McDonalds on the way in, so that's what I was going to do. I was disappointed, but accepting of the fact that I hadn't made it. I hadn't missed a birth since I was a student nearly five years ago. I hate missing births!

Chris called me again at 7:38, just as I was nearing the exit for his house, and he told me not to stop at McD's after all, so I headed straight for the house. Chris opened the front door for me, and I made some remark like, "Babies come at the perfect times, don't they?" As I went into the hallway, Sorani said, "Better get your gloves on!" and Barbara said, "I can't do it. It hurts so much!"

I was mystified. Was Sorani wanting my help with the placenta? Why was Barbara in such distress? It finally dawned on me:

Baby Mia hadn't been born yet!

Chris had been pulling my leg! I couldn't believe it! I had arrived in time after all! (Sorani got gloves for me.) I felt like Scrooge did when he realized that the Cristmas Spirits had done it all in one night, and he hadn't missed Christmas after all! Oh joy! Even Barbara's screams couldn't erase the smile from my face as I checked her -- cervical lip, bulgy bag of waters, rupture membranes and start pushing, girl! She kept saying, "I can't do it, I can't do it!" as she was doing it. She was very loud and very negative. It was very hard to talk over her and to help her, but pushing only lasted nine minutes, and then her screams changed to, "My baby! My baby!" She didn't tear, she didn't bleed, and postpartum was without incident. God redeemed this day:

Five years ago to the day Barbara had her first baby by Caesarean.

Today she had her first unmedicated, uncut HBAC (home birth after Caesarean).

It was wonderful! Thank you, God.

Happy Trails to You!

2009-10-08T19:21:00.000-07:00

One thing we've learned about being in the Black Hills after September is that a lot of things close for the winter. Yesterday we wanted to go up to Mt. Rushmore on the Iron Mountain Road. We "got right close," but around a corner came upon a closed gate. The road was closed. So we took an alternate route, but the one we wanted to go on has three tunnels, and they've arranged the tunnels so that you can see Mt. Rushmore through the tunnels. I'm sorry I missed that.

Anyway, Mt. Rushmore was awesome as usual. George Washington had a little snow "dandruff" on his shoulder.

After Rushmore, we went to Hill City and ate at the Alpine Inn. It was wonderful German fare, and we also had hot apple cider.

Then we wanted to travel the Needles Highway. It is known as such because of the pointed rock formations known as "needles." It was also closed. Both highways were closed because of the snow that had fallen Monday. So I guess I'll have to come back and see those places sometime when it's not snowing. But for now, I'm glad we came in this season.

Since Needles Highway was closed, we went to Custer and ate pie. I had rhubarb, my first try. I think it's delicious, Justin and Paul. I think the lady who waited on us was a little nervous about me trying it, but I loved it. It was just the right amount of sour and sweet. We got to talking to a local couple there at the pie shop, and talked for over an hour! That was different and fun! They told us about the wildlife they see from their house, and we talked and talked.

Then we went to the Crazy Horse Monument. It's an amazing project, much bigger in scope and size than Mt. Rushmore. I wonder if I'll be alive when it's finished. The museum there just goes and goes. It's a huge collection. You can't experience it in one visit. We stayed after dark for the light show, and were sorry we did, because when we left to go home it was dark and it was snowing...and we weren't familiar with the highway.

We finally made it back to the hotel after an hour's drive. We were both tired from the stress of trying to see through the blinding white snow.

This morning dawned cold. We decided at the last minute to catch the 1880's train from Hill City to Keystone and back, a round trip of 20 miles. We did get to the depot on time, but just barely. The train ride was a total of 2 hours, as the train goes a whopping 10 miles per hour. It was beautiful, but very cold! My feet and legs got real cold, and I wished I had put on my long john's!

After the ride, we went in to eat at the Hill City Cafe, where the waitresses were running their legs off, as a tour bus had just come in. The only seats were at the bar, so Jackie and I joined the other man there. I started talking to the man, who it turns out, is married to one of the waitresses. A local. So we talked and talked; he told us some more scenic routes to try that we hadn't yet...

So we went to Deerfield, and from there on gravel road to Rochport, and then up to Spearfish, where we are staying tonight.

The "non-road" we were on today!

At Spearfish, we joined up with Barbie and Dave and their son Jase at Sanford's to eat dinner. We spent an enjoyable two hours with them. Barbie used to work for a software company that Jackie does business with, and we had both met her before, but it was our first time to meet Dave and Jase. Jase showed me the wooden miner in the restaurant. He was amazing; a five-year-old that really behaved well the whole two hours that we visited.

All in all, we just haven't met any South Dakotan's that we wouldn't be proud to call friends. We have had an amazing vacation. We leave tomorrow to go to Wyoming to see Marie and John. We'll stay there for a day, then leave on Sunday morning to return to Texas. Great time, great sights, great experience!

Just a little sprinkle on the top, please...

2009-10-07T06:32:00.000-07:00

On Monday, while we were coming up from Nebraska and spending the day at Wounded Knee, the Badlands, and Wall Drug, it was snowing on other parts around here. Jackie heard a lady on the telephone at Wall say that it had snowed a foot at Mt. Rushmore. But we didn't see any of it that day.

Yesterday, because it was so sunny, we decided to go to Spearfish Canyon. It's the prime reason we're here, and we wanted to take advantage of a sunny day. What we didn't know at the time we set out was that it would be drop-dead gorgeous with the yellow aspens, the green pines, the black hills, and the smattering of white snow.

Spearfish Peak

We wound through already-snowplowed highways up to the town of Spearfish, ate lunch at the Cedar House, and came back on I-90 to Rapid City, then set out again, this time to the south and Custer State Park. At Custer, we saw more beautiful scenery, pronghorn antelope, bison, and deer. And we got off the pavement and went down a couple of the dirt roads of the state park, Oak Draw and Lame Johnny. (I do wonder who that one is named after.) It was all beautiful.

This was Lame Johnny road.

We came back at sunset and washed the car -- it was sooo nasty from the snow and the salt on the highways and the muddy roads! Then we spent a few minutes in the whirlpool and headed up to bed!

Bury my Heart....

2009-10-05T17:18:00.000-07:00

We started out our day in Chadron (pronounced with "sh") and headed north to Pine Ridge, SD. As soon as we arrived in Pine Ridge, we stopped for gas at the first station we saw. I went inside to use the restroom, and knew immediately that I was on the Sioux reservation. The restroom signs were in Sioux; so was the sign on the trash can. there was a mosaic seal on the floor of the gas station, with Sioux words on each side, and their English translation below; they were words such as Honesty, Courage, Respect, Courage, etc. I was looking at the floor when up walked an Indian man who began talking to me.

I knew as soon as I walked in the building that I was in the minority; it didn't bother me. I respect the Indian nation. So when this man, who introduced himself as Floyd John, began talking to me about the floor and how it meant balance with the Creator, oneself, and Mother Earth, I listened. In some ways he made sense, and I listened more than I talked, but when he asked why I was there, I thought for just a few seconds, then said, "My husband and I have been wanting to come here for some years, so it's like a pilgrimage to us." He said, "Why?" And I said, "To go to Wounded Knee." He said again,"Why?" And I said, "To honor the dead." He struggled to maintain his composure. As we parted, we both said, "God bless you."

We wanted to go to the site of the massacre at Wounded Knee, the last "battle" between the Sioux and the federal soldiers.

It was a sad place. There is not much honor there. There's just a plaque, front and back, that tells the story. It has graffiti on the back. And there's a mass grave with a marble marker on the hill just 400 feet to the west of the massacre. That's all.

At the gravesite, we met four men from Minnesota, who took our picture after we took theirs. They were there to feed the homeless in nearby Clay Hills, the city we passed just before Pine Ridge.

The mass grave site, where all 160 Indians and soldiers were buried in late December, 1890.

Then, as we were coming down the hill where the grave is, a woman got out of the only other car in the parking lot with us. She was Indian, and introduced herself. We chatted for a bit, then she extended what she had been playing with: it was a little black bag, decorated with beads. She asked if we wanted to buy a medicine bag; this one contained sage. I was pleased and we took it for what she asked. She lives in Wounded Knee. Even though there was no souvenir shop nearby, I was handed one. It will be special to me.

By this time, it was noon. We headed to the Badlands National Park. It took us a while to get out of Pine Ridge Reservation, and we looked at all the little towns we passed through to see if there was anywhere we could buy something to eat. Nothing. It was past 1 pm when we entered the Badlands, and just inside there was a place to eat! It was a wonderful souvenir shop/cafe. We had the Sioux Indian Taco and I had hot tea, as the day was cold and drizzly. We had a fantastic view from the cafe window of the badlands. I had never seen them before, and they are amazing. God is indeed creative. Big brown and pink-striped hills rising from the grassed prairie, with seemingly no rhyme or reason.

Our view from the cafe.

The cafe was decorated with lovely sunflowers in vases. They didn't look real, but they were standing in water. I took a snapshot of the ones in the bathroom, and then afterwards read the sign that said that taking pictures in the building was prohibited. So enjoy the black market picture!!!

Just outside the Badlands was an authentic sod house built into the prairie hillside. I suppose this is what the Ingalls' sod house looked like, too.

Just in front of the sod house was a prairie dog colony, which I've seen before in West Texas. What I had never seen before were white prairie dogs. But that's the type of prairie dog there was in that location.

After leaving the Badlands, we drove east to Wall, South Dakota. This town was made famous by Wall Drug. The owners made it famous by offering free ice water to anyone that was thirsty. Today, it occupies a whole city block, and 20,000 people come through there every day during the summer months. That's a whole lot of people.

We didn't buy a thing, but we browsed through nearly the whole place.

We were disappointed that there were no cups at the ice water holes, but I guess not many people want ice water when the outside temperature is 45 degrees!

All day I was enthralled while sitting in the passenger seat, at the amazing palette of colors. From the nearly neon orange of grasses along the side of the road to russets and olive greens and nearly black land with tiny bits of green coming up that make them look almost maroon at times (I know, that sounds really crazy). Then we saw the cottonwoods that ranged in color from green to yellow and the pine trees with their dark green to other trees that looked sawdust in color. And dark red nearly maroon bushes on the side of the road. So amazing, and I don't do it justice at all...I hope I can hold it in my mind.

We are now in Rapid City, and will be here for three nights. We will be seeing a lot of things in the next few days, and I'll try to keep you updated. We are enjoying ourselves here. I think we'll hit the whirpool later on tonight. At this particular hotel, it is in an adjacent indoor waterpark named WaTiki. Go figure!

Traveling

2009-10-04T16:31:00.000-07:00

Jackie and I have been planning a vacation for some time now. He has wanted to show me around the Black Hills for some years now, and show me at the time of the peak fall color, so we are going now.

The main place he has wanted to show me is Spearfish Canyon, just to the north of Rapid City, South Dakota, so that will be one of the places we visit.

We left yesterday morning, and drove north through west Oklahoma and western Kansas. There wasn't much to see, and we spent the night at the Holiday Inn Express in Garden City, Kansas. The whirlpool was so nice! We sure enjoyed it after driving for 9 hours.

Yesterday was mostly 67 to 70 degrees all day long, but all through Oklahoma, the sky was full of clouds that really looked like snow, of all things.

This morning, we started out at 40 degrees, and never got above 41, with rain pretty much since noon or so. About an hour north of Garden City, we stopped to look at some Pueblo Ruins, known as El Cuartelejo. Of course we didn't know what to expect, so it was an adventure! We followed signs for a time, then the trail got cold, and we knew it, so we turned around. We turned into a state park, hoping someone there could direct us to it, but no one was around. I guess there's no one who wants to camp out when it gets into the 30's at night. Go figure.

But we went just a little further, and found the signs again. The ruins were just a little square of four rooms, but it was cool to see something that was there more than 400 years ago. Cuartel means an army outpost in Spanish, so cuartelejo may mean the small army outpost. It was still around in 1604, 4 years before Jamestown. Too cool. Picture below.

Cute woman, huh?

Then, we continued on our journey, but were just a little down the road when we saw a whole herd of bison on our left! Jackie quickly stopped on the shoulder of the road, and scampered across the road to take pictures. There was a semi right behind us. As he passed us on the top of the hill, he hit the air horn, which startled the bison to run toward us! Jackie caught an awesome video of it!

So enjoy the video. We did!

We crossed into Nebraska sometime around noon. Then, between Ogallala and Lewellen, Nebraska, we passed a sod house! Jackie promptly turned around and we went to see what we could see. Turns out it was a sod house recreated in 1967, but it was neat to see it anyway. And it was built right where a house was on the old Oregon Trail, just west of Windlass Hill. We (you guessed it) took some pictures. It was raining lightly by this time; my new jacket sure was warm!

The sign by the gate says: "Close gate please -- otherwise cattle get in and rub the old sod house down. Thanks" I thought it was quaint!

Yes, that's right, there were cacti growing on the roof of the sod house!

And, finally, one last picture of a weird lady and her sweet husband...

All in all, a great day! More to come...

Again, and Blessed

2009-08-21T07:44:00.000-07:00

After seven months of no baby-catching, I finally got to do again! And I guess it's like riding a bicycle; I didn't forget how to do it, which I'm sure is a comfort to the parents of this wonderful new little boy. And it was a deep pleasure for me to watch what few nurses and doctors get to see -- a completely natural birth.

Beulah (name changed, as usual) labored ever so quietly. I think she is the quietest laboring mom I have ever watched. As she was a first-time mom, I was amazed at how she handled all the new not-so-pleasant sensations. I arrived with my assistant a little before 5 pm. She had been laboring since 11 am, and her water had broken at 8:30 am. Steve (also name changed) was helping her cope, but she was so easy to help.

I watched her as I got everything ready for my part. Crock pot, washcloths, towels, baby hats, oil, bowl of instruments, gauze, stethoscope, etc, were all gotten ready by me or Amy. She soon started exhibiting signs of transition. I won't go into them all, but they're very obvious to me. So I sent Amy downstairs with the news.

Downstairs were about 20 people, milling around, eating, visiting, giving and receiving massages, taking pictures. They were family, neighbors, friends from church, and were all waiting for this baby. (No pressure, Betsy!) So I would send Amy downstairs every so often with some news of what was going on upstairs in the little birthing sanctuary. Amy was a godsend for me, since my left knee was not wanting to go up and down stairs for anybody. But that's another story.

A little before 6 pm, Beulah said she had felt quite a bit of pressure with the last contraction. So I did a sterile exam and found that she was complete. She was ready to push. (Wonderful news! Woo hoo!) I tell Beulah that she must do a mind switch now. "You have to go from relaxing with your contractions to pushing with them." She very quietly acquiesced. And I sent Amy downstairs with the news.

She pushed for a while in a semi-sitting position on the bed. And she was making progress there, but she was getting tired. So I had her get up (hard to do!) and get on the birthing stool for a while, where we started seeing a little bit of the baby's head. (Good progress!) Steve was sitting on the edge of the bed behind her giving her a place to rest on him between contractions. After a while, however, Beulah said that her toes were going numb. Yeah. The birth stool is a little bit tall, and your legs do go to sleep. So we get her up and on the toilet. The toilet is very similar to the birth stool, but lower.

She sits there for a few contractions, pushing really well. I can't tell what's going on (the downside of the toilet), but I can tell she's making progress. When she tells me that she feels some burning with the last push, I get her off the toilet and back on the bed. Sure enough, the baby's head is crowning, and it doesn't take too many more contractions to have a "full crown," where the fullest part of the head is through.

So the head is born and Steve gets ready to help me catch his baby. I pull a loop of cord over the head and realize that the baby is holding onto the cord with his right hand! Always cool to see the baby's hand peeking out -- I had that experience with my very first catch five years ago. The little white hand waves and wiggles it's fingers. Steve catches the baby's body after we persuade Beulah that one more push is needed. (She's not so convinced about this last push.)

Hurrah! Hurrah! 8:03 and baby is born! I suction and listen and look and give him an Apgar score. Yes, it's a him! Steve checks to see. A son.

The hard part is over. The hard part has begun.

We do the normal postpartum stuff which always seems to take forever, but is all necessary.

The cry that goes up from downstairs when Steve announces it's a boy feels to me like the cheering for a touchdown at a high school stadium. There's so much happiness and love in this little apartment. A new family member. The first grandchild on both sides. The first baby for this couple. A firstborn son.

Grandpa prays over this son. Other grandpa has baked an upside down cake, which is his tradition for new babies.

Amy and I pack up and leave about 11:40 pm. Amy's still on a high. I feel so much satisfaction. Job satisfaction. I have it. Although I don't really feel that it's a job. It's wonderfulness.

And now I can apologize for the long time between posts. I have had some interesting times at home in my "time off" from midwifery, but I didn't share them with you.

I have 10 more babies coming this fall and winter.

God is good.

Beautiful Little People

2009-03-08T11:30:00.001-07:00

Faith Nelson! What an artisan! The details you put into your little people are fantastic! Thank you so much...

When I arrived back home from Lebanon, I had a bubble mailer waiting for me from Faith. I opened it excitedly.

Some weeks back, her family had a contest (http://youredoingwhat.blogspot.com/2008/12/and-winner-is.html) for putting captions on some funny family pictures. I thought one up, and actually won! Imagine that!

My prize for winning the contest was a free little person made by Faith. She asked me what I wanted my little person to look like. I really couldn't decide on who to ask her to make this little person look like. (Faith makes little clay people to look like real people. She makes a little person from a picture of someone.) So I asked her to decide what my little person would look like.

I never dreamed what she would do. I was so amazed with what she sent. And so was Jackie. He promptly took pictures. Here they are. Be amazed along with me.

I still can't believe you made a whole nativity set for me, Faith. It will be one of my favorite things to set up this coming Christmas, believe me. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Now, lest you not be amazed, following is another picture, with a dime placed in front of the figures so that you can see how tiny these people are, and what manual dexterity Faith must have to make them.

For those of you who like my set, you can get one very inexpensively from Faith. Here's her ordering site: http://www.panivinoranch/littleclaypeople.html.

Pictures of the Lebanon trip

2009-03-05T12:26:00.000-08:00

I thought I would share a few of the pictures that I was able to take while in Lebanon.

This was a "sandwich" vendor. The day that I went with Jason and Sarah to get Jude circumcised, we stopped here for lunch. The cook is making a sandwich. He puts chicken (shaved from the roasted vertical stack on the right), french fries, and salty dill beet pickles in flat bread and rolls it up! It costs 60 cents, USD. They are right tasty!

Brenda and I went to the Souk together. Here we are sharing a cup of Lebanese coffee together. I'm not sure I should say that we enjoyed it, since it is very strong and bitter. No cream or sugar. But I did enjoy sharing the experience with Brenda. She was a very compassionate, able birth assistant. I am thankful for her and for her life.

Above is a building in the ancient port of Byblos, mentioned in most history textbooks. It was very otherworldly to be in these ancient cities.

My favorite picture of Beirut, taken from a mountain just east of the city.

The corniche, where I walked and worshipped the Creator. I enjoyed those walks so much!

The street on which Jason and Sarah and Jude live. They live in an apartment to the left just in front of the SUV (which is their vehicle).

The lighthouse at Tyre, and the ocean just beside it.

Jonathan, Anna, Joel, and Ethan, British expatriates in Tyre. I enjoyed their love of life, their love of people, and Anna's peach and pear crumble!

Left to right: Will, Dennis, Bri, and Emi. Thanks so much for adopting me for a couple of days!

My favorite picture of Jude! He's looking straight at me. I talked to his daddy yesterday, and found out that he now weighs 11 pounds! It's amazing how fast they grow. He has gained four pounds in four weeks. Wow.

Miriam and her family. Brahim, then Miriam, Rabab, the dad (didn't interact with him very much, so don't know his given name), and Mohammad. They live two floors up from Sarah and Jason. Papa told Miriam to cook well so Sarah's milk would come in and nourish Jude. So she brought food down every other day. Thanks so much, Miriam. I'll never forget you.

At the Hippodrome. This was a place where horses raced, from Roman times. It was huge, of course. I'm standing in front of part of the stands. At the north end of it is the Via Romana, or the Roman Road, which led into Tyre. Since Jesus went there during his lifetime, I probably walked along the same road He did.

One more of me (sorry). I'm sitting in the grandstands at the Hippodrome. Isn't that incredible?

Praying at the Hereri mosque in Beirut. I am the one on the left, completely unaware that a picture is being taken. The young woman who invited me to pray with her is the one in the center with the white skirt on.

Fosiah on the left, and Safa on the right. Both dear friends of Sarah and Jason. Fosiah sang a lullaby in Arabic to Jude one night. I wish I had taped it. It was tenderly sweet. Both women have been Arabic teachers to the Kerners in the past.

And, finally, a picture of what I didn't see, a cedar tree. They are very few, and hard to get to, and there just wasn't time on this trip. Maybe next time....

Thanks for letting me share these pictures!

A Reason for Being Here

2009-02-19T03:25:00.000-08:00

I haven't kept all of you up-to-date on the happenings here in Tyre as well as I had hoped. When I left Texas, I had hoped that blogging would be easy. It has been difficult for a couple of reasons. First, the Internet isn't always on. One can't ever take it for granted that it will be working when the computer boots up. Second, there's more people than just me needing to get on to the Internet. There's Jason and Sarah, who own the computer, and then there's Rabab and Miriam, two floors up, who want to talk to Brahim, in France, on Skype, and then there's me. So I have to take my turn. And third, this has been kind of a rollercoaster of a visit. Emotionally there have been good days and there have been bad. So here I am two days from the end of my visit, and I'm just now blogging some of my visit besides the birth.

Tyre, known hereabouts as Sour (the French name for it, and pronounced just like the word "sewer"), is an ancient city. There are mostly Shi'ite muslims here, and it's a very conservative part of Lebanon. There are some Palestinian refugee camps here in the city. The Palestinians have a very hard lot in life, as they are not allowed to become citizens of Lebanon, and they cannot own any property. So you see them selling food out of the back of vans, or electronics out of a pushcart. They are very entrepreneurial, but their lot in life stinks, as far as I'm concerned. They have been refugees here for 60 years. Yes, you read that right. Sixty years.

The area that Sarah and Jason live in is right in the peninsula of Tyre. Their apartment is a quarter of a mile from the ocean on one side, and maybe 3/8 of a mile from the ocean on the other side. I went to both seawalks, known as corniches, on my walk two days ago. First I went to the south side and walked to the little beach at the end, where I looked for seashells, but my main purpose was to grab a little of the Mediterranean in a little bottle to bring home with me. I know that's silly, but it is somehow important to me.

Then I went to the city ruins, which Jason had led me to about a week before. When the two of us went, I had no camera. Since then, they have loaned me a camera to use, so I made my way to the ruins through the Tyre traffic, and took a picture over the fence. Those ruins were a Roman bath. It's very interesting to look on things built over 200o years ago. The people here don't hold them as sacred. People can basically go touch everything. We walked on some of the mosaics, for crying out loud. In the States, everything would be cordoned off, and there would be a look but don't touch attitude. Not here. We could see where the water was stored, and how it went from one storage building to another, and we could see the hundreds of clay disks that were used for warming the baths. And there is a double row of columns leading to the ocean. Who knows what they were used for -- a gymnasium, perhaps?

After the ruins, I made my way to the Souk, the market. It is pronounced "soo," with no k sound at the end. I'm following a map that Jason gave me, and just finding my way. I have no fear, except for the cars that drive crazily everywhere. It's the craziest driving I've seen anywhere in the world, including Zanzibar and Beijing and Mexico City. Jonathan, another person I've met here, says Cairo is the worst. I cannot imagine how, but I guess I believe him, since he's been there, and I haven't.

At the Souk, I make my way past the spice vendor and the antique vendor to the scarf shop. I have to get one more. I finger the different scarves, and ask, in English of course, how much one is. The owner responds in English, and starts showing me all kinds of scarves. I finally settle on one, and give him a little more than he asks, expecting some change. Instead he hands me a dollar back. I am surprised, and say "Shukran," "thank you" in Arabic.

I am so proud of having bought something by myself. Not that I should be. The merchants will do anything for a sale.

From the souk, I make my way to the northern corniche, which I haven't seen before while walking. It's much longer than the southern one, and I've already been walking for awhile before I get there, so I don't go all the way to the end. I go about halfway, then consult my map some more, and find my way home by the map and my eyes. The map has street names, but the streets themselves don't, so you have to remember landmarks. I go straight home, with no false turns.

I've been gone two hours. I let myself into the apartment with the key they've made available to me, and I show them my purchase and tell them where I've been. It's been a good morning.

Later I'm told it's not the same in other countries like Syria and Egypt. I'm so glad I'm here, then. Because I've really enjoyed the freedom to explore and behold the beauties here.

I have truly enjoyed my stay here. I will be coming home in two days. Perhaps I can share some of the pictures I've been able to take along the way. The only sight I wasn't able to capture was snow-covered Mt. Hermon. It was beautiful. And I didn't have a camera.

But the main thing I wanted to share is an experience I had in Beirut two days ago. We went to Beirut to the US Embassy to get started on the paperwork for Jude's American birth certificate and passport and Social Security number. While we were there, Sarah wanted to visit a new mosque in the center of town that was built by a famous Lebanese politician who was murdered four years ago. We started to go in, and were stopped at the door. Sarah and I had to go in the back door. Jason and Jude went in the front. We cannot go in the front because it is the hour for evening prayer.

So we go to the back and don black robes and scarves, and shed our shoes. We go into the elevator (!) and into the room for women's prayer. It is two stories above the main room, and we can peek into the main room and see the men below. Sarah gets a call on her cell phone about this time and wanders off to attend to it. So I'm by myself, sitting on a little ledge by the railing. I begin to pray. Then the Muslim young woman who preceded us into the room approaches me. She says to me in English, "You want to pray?" Surprised and pleased, I follow her to where she is standing and stand next to her. We pray together. We pray together. I feel no constraints and I don't feel uncomfortable. Mainly I pray for her and for the Palestinians. It is one of the most rewarding times of my visit here. And I believe one of the most important reasons for me to be here.

Thank you for your prayers for a safe journey home. The remaining time will pass quickly. I will never be the same.

Baby Jude Arrives

2009-02-09T01:51:00.000-08:00

Hello, everybody!

I'm sorry I didn't post earlier, but the internet couldn't be reached by us for over a day.

Whew! What a rollercoaster ride!

Sarah labored long and hard. She got to complete and started pushing around 9 pm on Saturday.

As the pushing progressed, she had intense back pain over on the right side of her hip. The baby was in good position, not posterior. But this back pain kept her from pushing effectively during contractions. She pushed for an hour and a half, then started to give up around 11 pm. It was very hard for Jason to hear her say she wanted to go to the hospital, and she wanted a C-section. He didn't want to give up. We talked to her for a while, trying to tell her that the pain of a C-section was worse than the pain she was experiencing. But we started to go to the hospital.

Then she tried to push again. She tried for another hour and a half. I was checking progress and baby very often. Her progress in pushing slowed to millimeters. Baby was good throughout. But we reached a point where I knew we were losing Sarah to exhaustion and pain. So, at 1:30 am on Sunday, Feb 8, we went to the hospital.

It was empty and poor-looking. But the doctor came and assessed Sarah soon. There was also a midwife helping. The baby's head was so low that they assessed it was too late for a C-section. (Praise God!) So they got out a hand-operated vacuum suction, and proceeded to push on the top of Sarah's womb and pull on the baby's head. The doctor cut an episiotomy, then extended it again.

As they were working, I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that we would never have been able to birth this baby at home. It was just too hard. Baby Jude was born at 2 am. He weighed 7 pounds, measured 20 1/2 inches, and was perfect as soon as he was born!!! He has a huge amount of black hair, very long. He's so beautiful.

So I'm operating right now as a postpartum doula, helping Sarah with her stitches and postpartum things like breastfeeding and so on.

Thank you for all your prayers. They are so appreciated.

And it turns out that the pocket-handkerchief I forgot was my camera that got lost in transit...boo, hiss.

Love you all.

In labor

2009-02-07T03:41:00.000-08:00

Sarah is in the birth pool now. Jason worked really hard to pump up the birth pool, and it's helping her.

She was 6 cm at 11:30 am. It's now 1:30 pm.

Will give more updates as I can.

The Eagle has Landed AND...

2009-02-07T00:44:00.000-08:00

Hi everybody!

I got here (to Tyre, Lebanon) last night about 11 pm (3 pm Texas time).

Jason and Sarah picked me up at the airport in Beirut and we came the rest of the way by car.

They are awesome hosts! They had bottled water and fruit and homemade cookies waiting for me in the car. We talked all the way to Tyre and got to know each other a little bit.

Then they gave me the tour of the house, and it was after midnight before I actually wound down and went to sleep.

At 3:45 am, Sarah went into labor. (!!!!!) Wow.

Sarah graciously let Jason sleep until 6 am. And they let me sleep until 9.

Jason knocked on my door and said breakfast was ready, and someone was on the way.

I said, "You're kidding!" Then I got up and we listened to the baby's heartbeat for the first time. 128 beats per minute. They were thrilled, because they hadn't got to hear it before then. Their doctor didn't use a Doppler; she just did ultrasounds on the baby.

So Sarah's contractions are 4-5 minutes apart and lasting 40-60 seconds. Please pray. We are counting on all your prayers.

It's a lovely day in the Mediterranean. The sun is shining, and we had hummus for breakfast! It's a lovely day for a baby to be born.

Pray for love and joy and strength. Pray for rest for Sarah. She didn't get much last night.

Fixin' to Head Out

2009-02-05T07:00:00.001-08:00

Here in Texas "fixin' to" means "just about ready to." I'm fixin' to head out! I've showered and shaved, powdered and sprayed myself...Ha! I feel like Bilbo, heading out the door without a pocket-handkerchief.

I've got to change the message on my cell phone (I won't call you right back), finish cleaning the kitchen, brush my teeth, and see if I can haul my luggage out to the car.

Then it's a two-hour drive with Jackie to the airport. I will get to Tyre tomorrow afternoon at 4 pm our time. I appreciate all your prayers!

I will let you know when I land...

Expending Myself

2009-01-29T14:56:00.000-08:00

I am down to one week before I leave for Tyre, Lebanon, to help with a birth. I will leave February 5. Right now my return trip is set for February 22, but we (the team of three - mom, dad, and me) may change that, depending on when the baby arrives. It may be earlier or later. I will travel through Chicago and London, and then on to Beirut, where my hosts will pick me up and drive me to Tyre. The return trip will just be in the opposite direction.

This morning as I contemplated the trip before me I made a decision. I have decided to allow my name to be shared internationally for women who want to have a home birth abroad. This may not seem like a big step for some, I know, but it actually has been for me. Even though as a midwifery student my heart really wanted to minister to missionaries abroad in this way, as a midwife the realities of birth outside of the U.S. "comfort zone" began to weigh heavily on me. I wanted to be "careful." I also didn't want to be deluged with requests from the uttermost parts of the earth. I wanted to be able to pick and choose where I went. I also wanted to be able to choose when I went. After all, I have a life, too.

But this morning as I wrote in my journal, I realized that this may be my purpose in life right now. And what a waste, if I don't realize the purpose! And what a lack of obedience it is, this being careful. Being careful has its merits, but not when being careful means you deafen your ear to God's Spirit. So I said yes. I will allow God to move me where He will. And I will consciously be an Ambassador of the Man of Promise wherever I go.

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose." -Jim Elliot

Getting Ready

2009-01-19T08:36:00.000-08:00

Well, I have one bag packed. Yesterday I sorted through all the midwife stuff and packed my midwife stuff for the trip to Lebanon. It all fit in one bag, and weighed 43 lbs. I'm hoping that I can get by with one more 50-lb. bag and my backpack for a carry on.

I will have to take more with me on this trip than on the trip to Zanzibar, simply because Zanzibar is a tropical island south of the Equator, and they were beginning to be in Summer. The clothes I needed were light.

Now is the middle of the winter in Lebanon, and it's about as cold there as it is here in central Texas. But the houses are colder than they are here; they are made of concrete blocks. No central heating is available, so layering clothes is one key to keeping warm. I have been knitting wool socks for my trip. My feet tend to stay cold all the time.

Anyway, a lot of people have been asking me how I got this "job" in Lebanon. "God" is as simple an answer as I can give, but most people want more details. A midwife friend of mine was made aware of the need of this couple for a midwife in Lebanon, and she let me know about it. I knew immediately I was to go. I didn't have anyone else due at the time, and love to do this for people, so I contacted the couple via email, and the rest is history. We're all thrilled. And we're all praying hard.

Never Alone

2009-01-18T15:15:00.001-08:00

The following are lyrics to a song I heard today. I was cleaning the kitchen this morning when it played on my computer. I went to the computer, backed it up, turned the volume up, and really listened. They sort of fit with my previous post. Here they are:

"Never Alone"

I waited for you today
But you didn't show
No no no
I needed You today
So where did You go?
You told me to call
Said You'd be there
And though I haven't seen You
Are You still there?

[Chorus:]
I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel You by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here and I"m never alone

And though I cannot see You
And I can't explain why
Such a deep, deep reassurance
You've placed in my life

We cannot separate
'Cause You're part of me
And though You're invisible
I'll trust the unseen

[Chorus]

We cannot separate
You're part of me
And though You're invisible
I'll trust the unseen

[Chorus]

The song is by Barlow Girl. And although I wouldn't have written the song just so, the words echo what I sometimes feel. That faith isn't about what you see, hear, smell, etc. It's about what you know. So I'll trust the unseen.

Thoughts on Faith

2009-01-17T11:37:00.000-08:00

I've been having thoughts lately on faith and faithfulness. Habakkuk, an Old Testament prophet, says that the just shall live by faith (or faithfulness).

If the level of faith stayed the same throughout life, there would be one big jump to faith, and then we could just keep that level the same. It wouldn't be too hard. Most people can do that.

In my life, however, it seems that God keeps upping the level. If I thought that He was unfair in this, I would have resentment initially, then I would just drop out. If God were a man, He would be impossible to please. I have a problem with people like that. They're never happy with what you've accomplished. They look at your latest completed project and yawn and say, "That's nice. Now let's go on to the next big thing." They are never happy or appreciative. They are just demanding.

As I said, if God were a man, that's what He would be like. However, His purposes are not the same as ours. When He asks me to take a bigger step of faith than the last one, it is something He helps me do. If my faith were in myself, having bigger faith would really be an impossible walk on the water. But since I know that my faith is in Him, and that He does not change, all I have to do is to look back upon the past times in which He was faithful. After all, He is the One who breathed out the stars.

How can a birth in Lebanon be difficult for Him?

I am looking at the countdown until I leave for Lebanon. I leave on February 5, so that is now less than three weeks. It is nineteen days. Everyone is doing well, but the unknown is...well, unknown. And there is no one who can tell us what is coming. So, for now, we rely on Who He is. Who He has been in the past. And we know that He is good. And that He loves us. And so we take Him by the hand and say, "Lead on, o loving One. Take me down the road. Just don't let go of my hand. I need you more than words can say. And if You don't lead, I will die."

New Year, New Baby

2009-01-11T12:51:00.000-08:00

I just attended my first birth of the year. Very sweet, very intense, very personal, full of faith. It was a wild ride for "Luanne," the laboring mom, as she went from starting labor to holding her baby in two-and-a-half hours. She started her labor at 3:30 p.m. and was holding her new little boy at 6:09 p.m. Generally speaking, if a labor is short, it is very, very intense. And usually, if it is short, everything is also going well.

"Einstein" called me around 5 p.m. to let me know we were "on." I started getting my clothes changed and my kit in the car, and before I had loaded everything, he called again to say, "Come on!" So I was on the road by 5:13 with only a 30-minute drive.

He called again when I was still some way out and said, "She feels like pushing!"

"Are you okay with that?" I responded.

"I think I'm okay with it," he replied.

"Okay, then make sure she pushes very slowly and..." I went on to give him some other details.

Then, I put my flashers on and beeped some cars out of the way so I could speed up and get there!

I don't know how many minutes I shaved off the drive, but I skidded into the driveway as Einstein was calling me again to tell me that he could feel the baby's head heading down and out! I popped the trunk of my car open, grabbed my purse, the chart, and two of my bags, and was in the house in a flash! "Let me wash my hands, and I'll be right with you!" I shouted breathlessly.

Then I calmed down. Took a couple of breaths. In less than 20 minutes, baby Willem was caught by Einstein and me and laid lovingly on his mommy's abdomen. And the miracle of birth overwhelmed me again. I don't know how "often" I pray during birth. I think sometimes that it is a long prayer, breathed out with pauses in between phrases. Both Einstein and I were praying; Luanne might have been praying, too, but she was also riding it out.

And as soon as the baby was on her abdomen, Ashlea walks in. At that point, I had not charted a single line. Does it matter? At that moment, no, but it does in posterity. So Ashlea grabs the chart and starts it for me. I will fill in details later. Right now, we're reveling in new life.

Baby Apgars at 10 in the first minute of life. He weighs less than his brother did, but is longer. A new life. Not a repeat. Not at all.

We sit together on the bed before parting, and pray again. It is a sweet time, and soon I'm out in the very crisp air, headed home...

Back Home and Pictures of the Trip

2008-12-18T07:41:00.000-08:00

I am back home, since four days ago. Last night I went to bed before 8 p.m. and slept like a log until 12 midnight. Then I dozed off and on until 5:30 a.m. I hope to be back to normal soon.

Tuesday, I saw my client who is due next. She and her family are doing well. In the meantime, I'm studying my plane ticket to Lebanon for February 5. Maybe I should enjoy Christmas first.

This Christmas, we're doing without gifts. It will be the first time in our lives to do this. But with the economy the way it is, and with three children in college, we just don't have money to get gifts. None of us does. I am for one really looking forward to celebrating Christmas this way. It's a little hard on the kids, but I truly believe that it will be good for them, too.

Emily wants us to have doughnuts for Christmas morning, since we won't be busy doing anything else. She offered to help. Okay, doughnuts it is.

But back to international births. I have summarized my thoughts on those. There are two very important things for an international birth. #1. Good prenatal health. It helps if the mother is taking natural prenatal vitamins. Also helpful is prenatal care, either by a local doctor or a midwife. #2. A midwife who is willing to do things differently, and willing to try things she has not tried before. I will not go into details with this one, but suffice it to say that I thought long and hard about things I might have to do in Zanzibar, even though I didn't have to do any of them. It was very sobering.

Following are some pictures that I couldn't share while I was on the island, but I will now.

This is the first glimpse I had on the island.

Gilbert wearing Baba's (Daddy's) hat.
Moanaheri grating fresh coconut. After it is grated, water is added. Then the mixture is strained. The resulting cream of coconut is used to cook with. It is delicious, especially with cassava and sweet potato greens!"Jambo" means hello. Here it is on Bob's cappuccino!
Me at the local beach, about a quarter-mile from Bob and Rachael's house.

The north beach. It was beautiful.

The first picture of Wilberforce Ivan Gwassa!
Rachael and Wilberforce

The Deal

2008-12-12T21:30:00.000-08:00

After the Spice Tour two days ago, I was talking to Bob. I said, "When I come back, I want to see you climb a coconut tree." I knew from previous conversations with Rachael that he used to climb coconut trees.

"When you come back??" he responded. "I tell you what. If you come back, I will climb a coconut tree! I will begin to prepare now."

So that's the deal. If I come back, Bob will climb a coconut tree. Good incentive, as if I needed one.

So Long, Zanzibar!

2008-12-12T06:08:00.000-08:00

Well, this is my last full day on the island! Part of me is very sad, as it has been a wonderful visit. It is a beautiful island, and Bob and Rachael have been so easy to be with.

Yesterday I went to the beach early by myself. It was low tide, and the mangrove trees were out of the water. There were many shells, and I nabbed all the good ones that I saw. A woman was on the beach when I got there, and after some time, she sidled up close to me. She had been watching me, and as I made eye contact with her, she handed me a couple of shells. I asked her if she spoke English, and she said, "Some small." So we walked and talked and picked up shells and coral. She has two children, a girl and a boy, 3 and 5 years of age, she works in housekeeping at the nearby hotel, and she's Muslim. And her name is Aisha. And she's beautiful. I took our picture on the beach. She left me after we both left the beach. I loved the encounter.

Then Bob took me and Zawadi and Gilbert to a private spice farm. Oh, the spices! I got to see so many different species of flora, it was incredible! And we actually didn't cover that much ground. The tour leader spoke excellent English, and this was the way he led the tour: he described what we were seeing, and then waited to see if we knew the plant. It was so much fun! At the end of the tour he asked me if I was a farmer! I laughed. I can hear Beth laughing, too. No, not a farmer. But I do love the good plants of this Earth. I got to see (big breath; are you ready?) castor, cilantro, aloe, cardamom, pepper, cloves, cinnamon, nutmeg, mace, vanilla, cocoa, coffee, jack fruit, giant passionfruit, soursop, starfruit, cucumber fruit, bush chili, neem, turmeric, mangosteen, and a man who climbed the coconut tree to throw down some coconuts for us! I will post that video when I get home. Film at eleven.

After the tour, we sat down to eat a meal, included in the priced of the tour. We had rice pilau, two kinds of sauce for it, red and yellow, and barracuda, and cardamom tea. I was hardly hungry, since on the tour, we had jack fruit, soursop, starfruit, and coconut milk and coconut. It was so amazing!

After the meal, I was able to purchase some spices at very reasonable prices. And just when Jackie didn't think I could enjoy anything more on the island....

Then last night we had some company come. They were Hussein and Inez. Hussein is Tanzanian, Inez is from Vienna, Austria. Inez has been living with Hussein on the island for the past five months, volunteering her time at the local hospital. She's an occupational therapist. She left today to go back to Austria, and will be there for at least a year. But of course she is now tied to the island, and said she will return. I was able to pray for her last night. And she is a wonderful person, having given five months of volunteer work to work with disabled children on the island. I really enjoyed meeting her.

I weighed Wilberforce just an hour or so ago. And he's already gained one or two ounces, even though he's just five days old!! He's thriving. Just wanted especially Grandpa and Grandma to know that.

I will leave tomorrow at 2:45 pm. I will fly to Nairobi, Kenya, arriving there about 4 pm. I have a long layover there, not leaving until 10 pm. Then I will arrive in Amsterdam the following morning about 8 am, and will leave there at 12 pm. I will arrive in Dallas on Sunday, Dec 14, at 2 pm, after about 30 hours of travel. Jackie and Emily will meet me to take me home. I know I will be tired, but very glad to see them.

Thank you all for sort of going on this trip with me through the blog. It has been so heartwarming and good. God is good. Please keep praying for Bob and Rachael. Their work is already good. And their God is faithful.

Spice

2008-12-10T09:55:00.000-08:00

Well, Jan should be getting to DFW in about 2 hours. She's probably not looking forward to cold weather. She really enjoyed this hot island.

Today we really didn't do anything out of the ordinary. Wilberforce got milk and slept more than he had the previous 12-15 hours. I'm finding that his cord is not drying out as fast in this hot humid weather as I'm used to. But everything is damp here. I love it! My hair doesn't stick straight up in the morning when I get up! Everyone who has seen me as soon as I get up knows how funny I look. And my lips don't get chapped. I've used my chapstick once since I got here 9 days ago. My husband is saying to himself, "Wow!"

Today I just did laundry and helped around the house. I made sure Rachael rested. She's feeling much better today, but is still sleep deprived. So she's gone on to bed already at 9 pm.

Tomorrow Bob has made arrangements for us to take the Spice Tour (not Rachael). Many spices grow on Zanzibar, and I will see some of that. When we went to the north beach on Saturday I noticed a bunch of "something" drying on the road. When I asked Rachael what it was, she said it was cloves! Just out on sacks on the side of the road, drying. Hopefully I will bring some fresh spices home. After the tour, we will try to join a cooking class and then eat our cooking. I'll report later. Anyway, I know I will enjoy it. Bob is a wonderful host. Even with a new baby, and before that, a very pregnant wife, he has tried to make our stay enjoyable. And it has been. Thanks, Bob.

I'm coming home in three days. I am really ready to come home. It has been a nice visit, and I've enjoyed what I do immensely, and still am, but I miss Jackie and Natalie and Emily and Timothy. And all my friends. And I'm wondering how my client due in January is doing.

On to the next thing!

Thoughts

2008-12-09T04:05:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning early and didn't want to wake Jan, so I put the MP3 earphones in my ears and settled down to listen to some music. And on the second song, I began to weep. It's a song called simply "Jesus..." by Rich Mullins. Oh, it touched me so deeply. If you get a chance, find it somewhere and listen. You will be blessed. The heart's deepest desire is to be a part of Jesus' story, and to have Him whisper to us our part in His story, and to know we are His. After this beginning, all the rest of this day can be terrible, and it will still be okay. But it won't be terrible.

Bibi and Zawadi came for a few days. They arrived yesterday on the ferry from Dar es Salaam. "Bibi" is Swahili for grandmother, and she's Florence, Bob's mother. Zawadi is Bob's niece. Her name means "gift." She truly is. She's 8 years old, and she helps out tremendously with Gilbert. She plays with him and entertains him and watches him, a truly priceless gift. She also likes to play with my hair. I'm tickled at feeling a little hand in my hair, on my neck, even in my ears. Jan gave Zawadi a lock of her hair before she left. Bibi is also a precious gift, bringing helping hands with dishes and cooking, and helping to discipline Gilbert.

We said good-bye to Jan several hours ago, as she got on the airplane that was to take her back to Nairobi, Kenya, then to Amsterdam, and finally to Dallas. She loved her time here, and is taking back many pictures and videos of her time in Zanzibar for "my friend Connie." Pray for her to have a safe journey. She was a great assistant at Wilberforce's birth. She found out what Ashlea already knows, that you work hard as a midwife's assistant. And I truly am thankful for our time together. And I think that she encouraged Bob and Rachael with her presence and her laughter and her love.

This morning we all had a time of worship together, something I've been looking forward to, but what with the move, and swimming, and cooking, and the birth, we haven't done. So it was precious. We all shared, we sang some, and we prayed, and we read the Scripture. We shared our hearts, especially Bob and Rachael. It was good.

I just examined Wilberforce and he looks good. He has no signs of jaundice. I took his footprints and rejoiced that I don't have to do a newborn screen on him. This is what used to be called the PKU. It requires a heel stick, and I usually don't like to do it at all. So since we are not in the US, and it's not required, I am glad that I don't have to hurt him. Small blessings. Sigh of contentment.

Welcome, Baby!!!!

2008-12-07T10:23:00.000-08:00

Baby Wilberforce Ivan Gwassa arrived very quietly at 7:21 pm in MBwene, Zanzibar Island, Tanzania!!

We rejoice with his coming. Thank you, Lord, for a normal birth. Rachael began her labor this morning at about 10 am. She pushed for 17 minutes, and he was born in the water, all 7 pounds, 13 ounces of him! He is 20 and 1/4 inches long. He has less hair than Gilbert did, and his face is rounder. Gilbert came into the room as soon as his brother was born, and very quietly admired him.

Rachael is recovering now. Please pray for a speedy recovery. We are admiring him as he sucks his thumb. Bob has gone for something to eat, Jan is holding and rocking the baby, and I'm through....

Praise the Lord!!! He is good.

I have tried to post a picture, but am not able. I will try to post a picture on my facebook.

White sands, and maybe later

2008-12-07T05:25:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I didn't blog because we spent the day at the beach and on the road, and came in late. I was tired because of little sleep the night before (jet lag), and as soon as the dishes were done I went to bed.

In the morning we went to a beach on the northwestern side of the island. It was very different from the local beach just a quarter of a mile away. We pulled up to the private beach, and a nice man showed us where the restrooms, the bar, the showers, and the beach was. All you have to do to swim there is to buy a drink or some food. We bought both, and enjoyed ourselves. They brought up chaise longues covered with towels and put them under some shades. We went into the slightly cool water with water shoes on because the bottom is both sandy and rocky. It was lovely. Of course it was lovely. I spoke with Jackie last night and he said that it was 25 or 26 degrees in Texas. I'm so sorry. I'm sweating over here. And we enjoyed God's creation of the sand, the sun, the seashells, and the surf yesterday. I really do absorb the beauty and worship the Creator.

I used some sunscreen but still managed to get a little sunburned. But the sea glass, seashells, and coral that I picked up more than made up for it. Let other girls go to the malls. I love the beach.

It was so beautiful to watch Rachael and Gilbert, knowing that soon, perhaps in a day or so, there would be one more in the equation. Happysad.

We showered off on the beach, then headed up to the car. We saw some small monkeys in the trees as we waited for Bob to settle up the bill. I'm not sure if they were watching us more or we were watching them more. We all enjoyed it.

We headed further north, going all the way to the north end of the island. We got stopped by policemen about five times, Bob talking all the time. I think they think he's a guide without the permit. You know, because he's native and we're not. So he's met quite a few of the local policemen.

We stopped several times on the trek, once to see a family with a little 4-year-old girl who was paralyzed shortly after birth by malaria. The mother held her, and Bob asked me my opinion about what might be best for her health, from nutrition to physical therapy. Hmmm. In the meantime, Jan is playing with the group of children that has gathered, and there are happy squeals and dancing and laughter beside us.

We also stop to buy about 20 pineapples. And we eat one in two sittings and make juice out of another one for lunch today. All in all, we stay out all day. It's really hard to believe that you can do that on the island, but I get the feeling we didn't do half of what there is to be done here.

Oh, and Mom, they have okra here. I thought I recognized the plants but was unbelieving of my own eyes until I asked Rachael. And sure enough, it grows here. We had a papaya from the back yard papaya tree for breakfast today. And Bob planted a mango seed today, after we ate the delicious mango.

This morning I head out for a walk by myself. It's the first time I've been out of the house by myself, and I get pictures of the flame tree and the anglican church that's about two blocks away. I'm not afraid, and I really enjoy myself.

When I come in, I meet Rachael. She looks a little...different. She keeps working through the morning and makes us lunch, but right now she's taking a little nap. She may be working real hard later on today. I'll keep you posted.

I tried to upload a picture, and it sure messed with this computer's mind, so I don't know what I'm going to do when I need to show you all a picture of the little one! I'll try to figure it out...

Swimming

2008-12-05T05:02:00.001-08:00

Hi all! This morning Rachael wanted exercise...so we walked a quarter of a mile to the beach!!! Gilbert had new flipflops that kept falling off his feet, so Jan finally took them off him and carried him. Fun!

There were two fishermen sitting in their canoe mending their nets. That is age-old, I thought. I took a picture of myself like the teenagers do, just holding the camera out at arm's length and clicking. Not bad, really.

There really is no surf on the west side of the island. The water is warm. Rachael takes off, swimming. I recall how she was a lifeguard for several years as an adolescent. She's already working on teaching Gilbert how to swim. He loves to splash anyone, but has the most fun splashing his Baba, his Daddy.

Jan has fun videotaping the several children that congregate and are playing on the beach. We find two starfish that are already dead and on the sand. I do my usual, looking for seashells, however plain they may be. They are mementos. I love seashells, and take some from every beach I visit. I love the beach. I love the beach.

We see a little jellyfish. And we have to warn Gilbert not to touch it. I'm grateful it doesn't touch me!

Tomorrow Bob's mother and her adopted granddaughter will come from the mainland. It will be good for Gilbert to see his Bibi.

It has rained again today. I learn that we are in the rainy season. It definitely makes sense. It has rained every day we've been here.

I can access my emails now. I have a ticket for Lebanon!!!!! And I can read emails from people I haven't seen or heard from in several years -- James Thompson and Josh and Abigail Ransom. I feel that God loves me. He indeed is full of compassion and lovingkindness. I read this both in Psalm 86 and in Joel 2. That is my Word for today.

Moanaherri, the housegirl for the Gwassa's, has a bad burn on her foot. I take my St. John's Wort oil and put it on the burn. I hope it will help. Bob says he will tell her it is pork oil. Oh boy.

Gilbert said a new word today. He was sitting at the table eating lunch with us, and suddenly said, "Wow!" I know he learned it from me or Jan. That's what Rachael and Bob said. And I think it's probably from Jan...It was so cute.

Love to all.

Just another day

2008-12-04T10:31:00.001-08:00

Today we saw some of Stonetown, where we are staying. We visited the Anglican church and saw the old Arab fort, went into a holding cell for slaves, saw the boats and the harbor, and then went out to eat.

I ordered kingfish and plantain, and then shared a dessert with Jan that was a date cake with a wonderful creamy sauce. And fresh pineapple juice. I am enjoying Rachael's cooking, too.

Today Bob went to the market for groceries, carrying home baskets of oranges, coconuts, sweet potato greens, carrots, onions, potatoes that were still damp from just being dug, fresh beef wrapped in newspaper, cabbage, and I'm probably forgetting something. Rachael fixed us cassava and sweet potato greens for lunch. It was so good. Gilbert ate a double portion.

Gilbert played in the water outside today. He got soaking wet, then put some water in a bucket and brought it inside to get the inside of the house wet, too!

Rachael washed all the baby clothes and diapers and wipes that we brought for her. Jan accused her of nesting, but Rachael denied it.

It rained again today. So far it has rained every day that we've been here.

Oh, by the way, if you are emailing me, I cannot seem to get to my email. The server times out. So I apologize, to all of you who are wondering why I'm not responding.

My facial skin is still burning. I don't know what I'm reacting to, but I think I will stop taking the antibiotic I brought against malaria. I may be having an allergic reaction to it.

Looking forward to the baby, but enjoying just being with Bob and Rachael...

Finished the Move

2008-12-03T11:12:00.000-08:00

Bob finished moving today. He is tired.

I have had fun with Gilbert. I am learning Swahili. Paca is cat. Moto is hot, or fire. Habarigani means how are you? Mtoto is baby.

I also have developed some burning, stinging skin around my eyes, and have been sneezing and blowing my nose all day. Please pray that I will know what is going on...it may be a reaction to the malaria medicine, or a reaction to some bug spray that was used on the house, or something else.

Love all of you.

I'll check back in later!

We Are in Zanzibar

2008-12-02T10:17:00.000-08:00

We got to the island today about 1 pm. It was a long trip, but all the luggage got here. I only had one bottle break on the way, my Rescue Remedy. Praise God!

Rachael didn't have the baby before we got here, either. We have had naps and we're helping them to finalize moving. Tonight is their first night in the new home.

I don't know how often I can blog because they still don't have internet connections at the new house. This time we're at the old house, connecting with you.

Got great pictures of the island on our descent! It's a lovely island, too...

God bless you all, and keep checking the blog!

I Hope I Look this Good Two Days from Now...

2008-11-30T07:51:00.000-08:00

I'm off! Jackie and I will be leaving home to go to the airport in about 40 minutes. He and I will pick up Jan and Jim, and then we'll be on our way.

The trip will last two days. After the first 10-hour flight, one of those days will be a twelve-hour layover in Amsterdam, and we're hoping to see some of the city. It will be cold! And possibly rainy, with the high in the 40's.

After that we'll have another night-long flight with a five-hour layover in Nairobi, then a little hop to Zanzibar, where the weather is slightly different than in Amsterdam. At about five degrees south of the Equator, the island is heading into summer. It's very hot and humid.

I will miss you all, friends and family. If you're wondering if this means you, yes it does. I love you all, and will be excitedly waiting to share new experiences with all of you.

Pray for us -- Rachael, Bob, Jan, and me.

Jan and I will get to our destination on December 2. And we'll probably want a shower and a change of clothes.

Catching up...

2008-11-23T08:02:00.000-08:00

Well, how to catch up? It's been more than two months since I've blogged. Hmm, I guess that might mean that I'm not a very good blogger. For me it means that I've thought about blogs and thought about posting them, and then the phone rings and it's a friend calling to catch up (thank You, Lord, for friends), or a student comes over for algebra tutoring, or a client calls with a question, or I'm answering an email. And then Jackie comes home and I want to spend time with him, not on the computer.

Since the last blog, I have delivered one baby and paced the hall of the hospital at the birth of another.

The one I delivered was the first home birth for this couple, a waterbirth. Her previous birth had resulted in cutting, tearing, and her tailbone breaking with a posterior presentation of the baby, aka "sunny side up." This birth had none of those things, a true blessing. Little Eliyah was born and welcomed by his two older brothers. And postpartum was much easier than before, thankfully. No mastitis, either. So much to be grateful for. A phone call to 911 and arrival of the paramedics because of a little too much loss of blood and lowering blood pressure and really faint pulse came to "I'm not going in" statements by mom. And she did really well.

The hospital birth went well, too, although the doctor threw me out of the room, so I was not able to witness the birth of the little one. You know, I think that if the shoe were on the other foot, and an OB/GYN were invited to one of the births that I was caregiver for, I would not throw him/her out of the room. But there! My emotions get in the way. And so does my pride. They both get sort of bruised, and it takes time to recover.

Since the last blog, I've also done some canning. The end of the year produce covered the kitchen counter.

I looked at all that clean, fresh produce and groaned. I knew it would mean doing something. Now I have a wonderful heritage from my mom. I grew up in a household where canning and freezing were just a normal everyday occurrence during the spring and summer. And Mom involved all of us in it. We all had peach/pear/apple/you name it juice running down our arms onto a towel placed on the table as we pared, cored and plopped them into the bowl to await further processing. I never really cared for it. But it is valuable. And so Jackie scoured the internet for recipes for green tomatoes for me. Now I don't like sweet relish. Yuck! Just not good. So I skipped all the recipes with sweeteners and stopped at one that didn't have any. Hmm, this one had possibilities, although it called for 2 pounds of green tomatoes, and I had 11 pounds. Oh, boy.

Well, I chopped all morning, and just used the tomatoes and green peppers that I had on hand. I added onions and garlic to ratio, and then started simmering the stuff with vinegar and cumin and salt. After it had all softened, the canning jars were washed in the dishwasher, and I added the jalapenos that I had. Not to ratio. Just all that I had. The result -- ta daa! -- was a wonderful lovely tangy not-too-hot salsa! Not relish! I was so grateful that I had been obedient to use the harvest and not let it go to waste! One of the goals that I had wanted with a garden was to have salsa. And it didn't happen until the end, when the yield was 11 pints and 1 quart of the wonderful food.

And you can tell that Jackie and I like it, because there's only 8 pints left now. Wow.

Another thing I've been doing is getting ready to go to Zanzibar. I leave in a week. It's incredible, but it's happening. I am so grateful to the people who have contributed money so that Bob and Rachael can have their baby at home. If it weren't for you folks, I wouldn't be going. My ticket is paid for, and I have enough to pay for my visa once I get there. Thank you, thank you, thank you! You are true blessings. I invited my good friend Jan Pack to go with me to help with the birth, and she's going! Her ticket is not yet paid for, so if you'd like to help with her expenses, just drop me a line. We are sure that we will be going to encourage Bob and Rachael, and are really looking forward to times of prayer, worship, and love. Other people have purchased gifts for them, and we will be delivering those. Everyone has something coming, and if I wrote about the gifts, it might not be a surprise for Bob and Rachael, so I will leave the gifts a secret for now...

This is my first international birth, and I'm not real sure about anything, except that God is guiding me. And that's all I need to know. I've sorted through supplies, and I know I will sort through them again this week, but please pray that I will take all the right things, and leave all the unnecessary things behind, and that I won't worry about anything. God is going before me and surrounding me, and I don't need anything else.

Speaking of "first international birth," one of the dreams I had way back as a midwifery student was that I would get to deliver babies for m couples. You all know that. And this Zanzibar trip I consider as a first fruit of that dream. But, I have also been in contact with another m couple about being their midwife as well. So plans are underway for me to go to Lebanon in early February 2009. God is good. I'm very excited about this birth as well. And I will ask all of you to be in prayer about this trip. It looks like I will be leaving February 6, and returning sometime at the end of February (after the baby!!!!).

I was at my mom's house earlier this month. While there, she started looking through some stuff of hers, and found some baby booties. These baby booties were old and stained. She fingered them and said, "All of you wore these booties." I have four sisters, and all of us wore those booties. Wow. I hadn't even known of their existence!

Isn't it sweet? Well, I've been crocheting since I was eight years old, and I started looking at that bootie. I asked Mom if I could bring it home to see if I could replicate it. I made a pair last night. Granted they don't look exactly the same, but they are as close to the original as I could make them. And I have the instructions, too. I just have to type them up.

They don't exactly look the same, I know. Different thread, no embroidery on the tops, ribbon instead of more crochet thread for the ties. I may add the other details later. For now, I feel like some history has been preserved. Who knows, I may keep these booties for my grandchildren! That may be a while, too. Nobody's even contemplating marriage yet.

I will try to blog the picture of the Gwassa's baby from Africa. It all depends on the computer they have, and whether I can link my camera to their computer. I'll try!

Getting There

2008-09-08T09:11:00.000-07:00

For my three faithful readers, I am writing this to let you know that God is faithful.

I have been putting away money to go to Zanzibar. I will be leaving to go to Zanzibar right after Thanksgiving this year to deliver a baby for some missionary friends. I delivered their first baby on January 1, 2007, and they are expecting another boy. His due date is December 12, 2008. I expect to be there until the middle of December, and then return. I am waiving my usual midwife fee and doing this as a service to them and to God.

And last Friday morning I had $605.

Now the fare to Tanzania is approximately $2000, so I wasn't quite halfway there.

But thanks to the generosity of two friends, on Friday, the amount I had increased by $800! That's an amazing amount to receive in one day...

So now I have $1405 for the trip. I know that God will continue to be faithful to provide everything and everyone I need for this service.

And today I just want to toot God's horn. This morning I had an amazing time just playing and singing praise songs...

Crepe Myrtles

2008-08-29T09:10:00.000-07:00

I have been looking at this tree across the street from me for the past two days. It is absolutely amazing, and the picture does not do it credit. It has to be the biggest crepe myrtle in the county! And I've never seen the blooms on it any prettier than they are now. Here it is.

By the way, it's in front of a house, and you really can't see the house for the huge shrub!

But it doesn't smell as pretty as the white crepe myrtles beside my house. I've lived here for 12 years now, and I've never noticed the smell of the crepe myrtles before. They smell like a very faint honeysuckle. It's lovely. I wish I could introduce the smell factor into the blog, but here's a picture of them.

When you walk beside them, the blooms fall down like snow. And there's a constant buzzing in them right now. Bees are everywhere! My shrubs are doing their job for the honey production. If you look real close, you can see a bee in the following picture. Have you ever tried to take a picture of a bee? You just have to point in the general direction and shoot because they don't stay still. I had never tried this before, and wasn't aware of how "busy as a bee" is until today!

The bee is the blur next to the leaves. Uh huh. Right. And you can nearly see the other bee in the picture below, close to the bottom right.

Anyway, even though it's hot out today, there are harbingers of the autumn to come. The light is changing. It's not a summer light anymore. I know, my husband thinks I'm crazy when I say that. Also, the days are getting shorter. It's nearly dark by 8 pm now. And the last sign of autumn are the oxblood lilies coming up. They usually wait until September.

Here's one that's growing in the yard between us and the Mahan's yard next door.

So yay for the flowers, and yay for the fall.

I can't wait until my four o'clock starts flowering, and I have a bunch of little baby limes on my Mexican thornless lime tree...

Good but Hard Good-bye

2008-08-28T17:29:00.000-07:00

I want to change gears for this post. I want to become a mother.

This past weekend we took our son Timothy to Le Tourneau University. We got to Longview on Thursday afternoon. His girlfriend Angela also caravanned with us.

As soon as we got there, the two young people checked in, and we parents were channeled in another direction. They received their check-in packets, with registration times for the next day, and a LeTourneau t-shirt. Each student got a shirt as they checked in. The shirts were in many different colors, and each had a number on the back. Timothy's was royal blue and had a 7 on it. Angela's was maroon and had a 4. They were instructed to wear the shirts at a meeting in the chapel later that evening.

We then helped each of them move into their dorms.

When they got to the chapel, they were separated into groups by shirt. Each group has 10-16 members. Each group has a faculty mentor and an upperclassman mentor. These groups will meet twice a week (they will earn 1 credit hour for this) all semester. The class is called "Cornerstones." They will cover very important things such as time management! (This is a really smart university. Who knew that you needed to tell students how to manage their time???)

After the meeting, in which we sang several hymns together, prayed together, and committed ourselves to each other (faculty, students, parents), we went outside. Outside, one member of each group planted an ivy slip, representing their class. When they graduate, they will have an ivy cutting ceremony. Below is a picture of Timothy and Angela in front of the ivy plants representing their class.

The next morning we went to register the two. We had no communication with Timothy because the SIM card on his cell phone was not working, so we just went where he was supposed to be. He wasn't. This isn't the first time we haven't been able to find our son, nor are we the first parents to lose a child, so we kept our calm. We eventually found him an hour and a half later where he was supposed to be. By that time, he and advisor Dr. Juan Castro (Finance teacher from Honduras) had nearly finished a schedule of 17 hours for him. 17 hours!! I tried not to show my surprise, but I don't think I managed it. That's a lot of hours for a freshman to take, but...ok. Angela later registered for 16 hours. They will both be working hard.

We finished registering (with a break for lunch) at about 4 pm. Angela was so relieved and happy to be done with it that she did a little twirl/dance in the hall when she was finally done. I have to admit that she did so at my instigation. Then we got to stand in the very humid heat while Jackie tried to work out with T-Mobile some sort of plan for getting Timothy a new SIM card. It's ridiculous how long those things take.

After that we went to the bookstore, where Angela bought books and Timothy browsed. Hmmm, not going to get any books, son? He explained that he would get books, after he had had his first classes and had figured out which ones he needed books for, and which ones he didn't. That made some sort of sense to me, but I'm in Angela's court. I always wanted to be prepared before class. Somehow we have a son that is not like us; Jackie agrees with me in this case. But I can see his point of view, too, so I allow him the freedom to do as he sees best.

Saturday morning the Cornerstones groups go to do community service projects from 8 to noon. Timothy's group paints a daycare, while Angela's group does landscaping for someone or other. I can't remember now who. Every group is doing something different for the community. Isn't that cool? The parents, meanwhile, are listening to a panel of four professors and two students talk about the LeTourneau experience.

I am so impressed with the faculty and staff at LeTourneau. Each of the ones that I interface with in some way are Christians. I mean really Christians. They let Jesus be a part of their everyday lives. They treasure each of the students and consider them sacred. They begin their talks with us with a devotional on a little-known passage of Scripture; some of them leave me crying, and I'm deeply spiritually touched. This is a really good place for my son. I feel it to be true in my spirit. Each of the teachers that speak leave me knowing that they will push for excellence from each of the students, but help them in every way possible. Could there be any better place for Timothy? I really thank God that He has led us here. He has been so faithful to direct us in directing our children.

Angela had been praying that they would find a house church to attend. At the church fair on Saturday afternoon, they may have found one. There is a small messianic congregation meeting in a house about two blocks from the campus. There are no coincidences, we have decided once again.

We had a few words of wisdom for him in the lobby of his dorm. And then we prayed for him and Angela. We will continue to pray.

Below is a picture of Timothy by a statue of Jesus washing Peter's feet. It is located just outside the main chapel on campus. I think it speaks for itself. Timothy said, "I'm going to like this place." We agree with you, son.

And we miss you.

I'm in Love

2008-08-27T14:42:00.000-07:00

Well, from the conversation with Lynet, I know she's in real early labor, and I know that she may quit in the daytime. Oftentimes, the uterus relaxes during the day, and then kicks in again when the sun goes down.

I have a theory about that. I have been taught that two hormones basically have opposing effects on the body. These two are oxytocin and catecholamines, of which adrenaline is one. First of all, oxytocin is not pitocin. Pitocin is a man-made chemical, and the contractions that Pitocin raises are horrible in intensity and length. Oxytocin is actually the hormone that comes around when you're in love. It's a lovely hormone; everything is relaxed and loved. But it gets overridden with adrenaline, which comes with any anxiety or worry, any stress of the day. So in the daytime, there are all kinds of stressors that happen, and oxytocin can't do the job of causing contractions because adrenaline takes over. At night, when everybody is sleeping, the oxytocin can work unimpeded.

Anyway, I get to Lynet's house. I check her on August 6, 2008 at 10:15 a.m. She's one cm. I kind of figured that one. She's only having contractions every 10 minutes or so. I don't consider that labor, but she does. I stay for awhile, seeing if anything will intensify. I take a little nap in Dawna's bed. It's amazing that I can take a nap, because Gary's dad Jimmy is there installing a door into Lynet and Gary's bedroom doorway. It will help with privacy. They're temporarily living with Lynet's mom, my sister Martha. All their belongings are in this one huge room, but there's no door in the doorway. Lynet's in early labor, and Jimmy is installing a door. The noise and activity are probably having a bearing on the labor. Anyway, for a couple of hours, Jimmy has to go get some supplies or something, and there's no noise, so I take a nap. I'm so glad. I wake up around 2 pm when the hammering begins again. Lynet's not doing anything, so I go home.

She calls me a little after midnight to tell me that her labor contractions really got going at about 8 pm, and they're coming every 5 minutes. Would I come check her? I haven't slept yet. Of course I'm awake. I kind of think that this check is premature mainly because it was Lynet who called, not Gary. I know it's time to go to a birth if the lady can't talk anymore.

Anyway, I get there at about 1 am. August 7, 2008. This is going to be Andrew's birthday, but I don't know yet how long a day it will be. I'm still tired from Birch's birth, and here it is an hour past midnight. Lynet's a whopping 2 cm after 15 hours. Oh, boy. This will be long.

Somehow, we make it to daylight. Martha and Billy get up early to milk the cows, so by 5 am or so there's movement in the other end of the house. I check Lynet again at 5:41. 3 cm. She works with her labor, changing positions, walking, resting, drinking. She does very well. I'm not doing as well as she is. I can't believe how s-l-o-w it's going. This is my first time to midwife for a family member. I don't know if that makes me tired, or if it's the hard birth I just came off of. But I feel that this birth is just going to be slow. I hope that pushing goes faster.

At this time her contractions are coming every 3 minutes, lasting 90 seconds. That's hard. Usually moms don't have this type of contractions for very long, but everything about this birth seems to be happening the hard way.

At 10 am we get Lynet to go outside and walk around some. She's now 5 cm. Usually that's more than halfway, because the last 5 cm usually go faster. It won't take much to go faster than the first 5 cm, since they took 24 hours!

Lynet eats lightly throughout the day: toast and jelly, pudding, granola bars. At 1 pm, we notice white floating "things" in the bath water. Hmmm, vernix? Perhaps her water broke without anyone noticing?? Vernix is the white waxy substance that coats the baby's body while in utero, to protect it from the slightly alkaline amniotic fluid. At 1:50 I check her again, and I feel a bulgy bag of waters, so I conclude that only the outer bag is broken. Not everyone knows that there are actually two bags! The outer one is the chorion, and the inner one is the amnion. She's now 6 cm.

She begins to sway and squat during contractions, after Martha encourages her to do so. I agree, saying that it will help her baby come on down. Martha's a go-getter. She's ready to get the show on the road. Lynet complies. She's ready for this to be over, too.

Around 2:30 she cries out, "The contractions never quit!" Honestly.

I call Ashlea to come. She gets there at 3:45. She becomes my caretaker. She can tell I'm exhausted. And she takes over listening to baby heart tones. She tells me to lie down and rest. And she encourages me. This is a new role for Ashlea. She's usually pretty matter-of-fact. Today she must know I need more. And she gives it. Thank you, thank you.

I massage some Evening Primrose Oil on the cervix and try stretching it some. It gives a little bit. Lynet is patient while I'm doing this. She's lunging with one foot on the bed, then the other, at my suggestion. Sometimes this opens up the pelvis, and helps if the baby has his head cocked a little crookedly.

At 4:30 she's 8 cm. Wow. I apply more Evening Primrose Oil. Lynet keeps standing, walking between contractions. She's crying. Everything is so intense.

At 6:14 I rupture the bag of waters. I hope this will make the final dilation go a little faster. At 6:26 she says loudly, "I'm pushing!" So I let her push a little bit. That sometimes helps open up the cervix all the way, and it certainly feels better than just letting the contractions peak while you try to relax.

But when I check her again at 6:38 and 7:55, she still has a "lip" of cervix. Grrr. I hate to do it, but I ask her if I can help her get to complete by pushing the cervix out of the way during a contraction while she's pushing. She agrees to it. She becomes my heroine when I push on the lip and she doesn't scream or kill me. Believe me, the procedure is excruciating. But we get her to complete. I sometimes think we would still be in labor if we hadn't done this. But of course we wouldn't be. It would just have taken longer. If that can be possible.

Anyway, at this point, Andrew's little heart which has held steady all this time, begins to dip somewhat. Not dangerously. But still. So I put the oxygen on Lynet, and it brings up his heart rate. We try pushing McRoberts (see last post) for 15 minutes. Then we try left side-lying for 15 minutes. Again we're trying to find a good position so that Lynet can make good progress. At 9 pm we move her to the birth stool. Then 15 minutes later back to left side-lying. Back to McRoberts 45 minutes later. She's making progress, but everything about this birth is slow. She only does McRoberts for 11 minutes before she tries squatting facing the bed. Oh yes, baby! This is your position, girl!!!!

We start seeing a good wedge of head. It only takes 33 minutes from the beginning of the squat until baby Andrew is born at 10:44!!! I think we all get a prize for this one. Do they give a prize for childbirth? Oh, yes. They do. As I look into Andrew's eyes, I catch my breath. This baby is beautiful. It's probably because he's kin to me. (Groan.) His eyes are just so contemplative, and his mouth is beautifully full and rosy.

He begins to breathe immediately. His cord is so short that Lynet cannot hold him. I place him on the bed in front of her, and she just looks at him. Time just stands still.

As soon as we cut his cord seven minutes later, he's passed around. Daddy Gary gets him first, then he's passed around to Moome (Martha), Elita (Nana), Jimmy (Papa). Somebody calls Wita (great-grandmother) since she's already gone to bed, and she gets in on the love. Grandpops (Billy) also gets in on it, and Dawna. James has already gone to bed, but he's been excited all day, and since he's only 6 years old, he gets to sleep. And Gary makes Aunt Caren hold the baby, too, although it sure makes her nervous. Oh, the love.

And I'm so relieved. My great-nephew has been born. My hands touched him first. Lynet didn't tear, and she didn't bleed. It's all done. And it has only begun. The love.

I leave after 1 am. Caren makes me promise to text her when I get safely home. Boy am I glad my house is only 15 minutes away, but, Oh no! I have to get gas before I go anywhere. I sigh and just go get gas. Then I go home. Caren texts me, worried. I tell her when I get home. Then my beautiful husband turns the light on for me as I come into the house. He gets up and envelops me in a hug. He's never done this before. I usually take a shower after a birth. I don't after this one. I fall into bed. I take off my glasses anywhere, and spend many minutes looking for them when I wake up because I can't remember where I laid them.

When I wake up in the morning, I fall out of bed onto my knees and thank the Almighty that I'm still alive. And that there are three new babies and three new mammas and daddies. I am deeply grateful. He is my strength, my light, and my salvation. And He continues to guide me every step of the way.

The Second Hard Birth

2008-08-25T14:54:00.001-07:00

Ok, ok, I've had at least one request that I get on with the job of blogging, so I'm hauling my lazy self out of browsing other people's blogs, and getting on with the job at hand.

The last blog told about the first of three first time moms giving birth in one week. I will now continue the mini-saga.

I had gotten over birth number one. I want that to be a fact. I had rested from birth number one. It usually takes me two nights to recover from a birth. Usually. Sometimes I recover sooner, sometimes later. And since I've been taking Melaleuca brand vitamins, I recover quicker. That's a good thing.

Anyway, #1 had been born at 4:57 a.m. on July 31. Sam* called me at 7 a.m. on August 5. See, I had plenty of time to rest! Daisy* had started having bloody show and seeing her mucus plug the day before. So Sam called the next morning to tell me how she was handling her contractions. It sounded to me like she was doing fine for a first-time mom. Of course, she was fit as a fiddle. She loves to climb mountains (not here in central Texas, of course!), and ride her bicycle, etc. So she was doing well. I called back at 8, and Sam then told me that her water had broken at 2:45 a.m! What! You're supposed to call me immediately when that happens! So I hurry my rear end over to their house, and sure enough, things are very calm. Baby Birch is doing fine, and so is Daisy.

I take vitals on everyone and then settle in. Her contractions are coming regularly. At 1o:30 a.m, she hits a pause on the recliner and gets in a mini-nap. Yay! Even 20 minutes are very welcome, and then her contractions start back in at every 3 to 5 minutes. She's drinking and moving, and generally staying very relaxed with the contractions. She's rented my birth pool, and it's filled and ready to go. So she gets in around noon and relaxes in the warm water. She stays in the water about 2 and 1/2 hours, and gets out around 3 p.m.

I'm observing her, and when she gets out of the tub, her contractions are every 3-4 minutes. When she gets out, they begin to space apart. That can be a sign of complete dilation. So I ask to check her. She's complete. Dilated to a 10. So I watch for signs of an urge to push. I watch and I wait. Hmmm. No urge to push. I'm a pretty patient midwife, but after an hour and a half of watching and waiting, I realize that we need to do something. I check her again to make sure that the baby's position is good, and that she really is complete. Baby is perfect and she really is complete.

So I give her instructions on how to push. Still no urge to push. She begins pushing at a little before 5 p.m. We use different positions to see if one is a better position for making faster progress, and we settle on the McRoberts position -- flat on the back with two people on either side pulling up the legs to get the bottom off the bed. It sounds terrible, but it really works! After an hour of pushing, we start to see Birch's dark, abundant long hair. Her head starts to show between pushing, not just during the big pushing, and that is always so encouraging to me. Birch is big. And she's the first baby that Daisy has ever pushed out. She works so hard with every push. And when I'm seeing a good-sized wedge of head, she declares, "Oh, there's an urge to push!" That's the only urge to push that she ever has during the birth. Anyway, at this point, I ask, "Are you feeling a burn?" When the perineum is being stretched like that, it burns. Kind of like taking your index fingers and putting them in the corners of your mouth and pulling. So when she feels the burn, I ask her to slow down on the pushing. It helps the tissues to s-t-r-e-t-c-h instead of tearing. And she does admirably. Slowly, slowly, Birch is being born.

I ask Ashlea, my assistant, to trade places with Sam so that he can help catch Birch. So Ashlea takes over lifting Daisy's left leg during pushing. And Sam gets himself ready for his baby girl. Oh, what a moment! I call out "full crown!" when the biggest part of the head is out. This is the forehead right before the eyebrows. The head is then born seconds later. I ask Daisy to pause while I check for cord. None. And Sam gets ready to grasp the shoulders as they emerge. Oh. Wait. Birch has a hand up. Hang onto the baby, Sam, while I ease her hand out. Ok, catch the baby! Oh, look at her! And put her onto Daisy's waiting belly. She starts breathing even before she's born. She starts looking around even before she's fully born. And Daisy starts to bleed.

Oh boy. Bleeding is my least favorite complication to handle. I quickly order Ashlea to give her Angelica tincture that will bring the placenta. The bleeding slows. We deliver the placenta as soon as it detaches, and then more bleeding. So we give her two droppersful of Shepherd's Purse and sweep out the blood and any clots that may be filling up the uterus. Thankfully, she stops bleeding after the Shepherd's Purse.

But she's tired and the bleeding really drains her. About 45 minutes after Birch is born and Daisy is nursing her, Daisy faints. We quickly get her lying down and she comes to in probably 5 seconds. Then we give her oxygen until my big tank is empty, and start giving her straight chlorophyll out of the bottle. (It usually tastes terrible, but she's so needy of it that it tastes good to her and she drains 8 oz. readily.) So she doesn't get an herb bath. I don't want her up at all, much less in a warm tub. The herbs are all ready, so we instruct family on how to make up the bath for the next day, when Daisy will feel better.

Birch is born at 6:54 p.m. When I check for tears, I find one. I haven't had to stitch a client in so long that Ashlea doesn't remember where I keep the suturing materials. I have to smile at that. I love what I do, and I'm glad that I can do a good job at keeping women intact. In this case, I blame the little baby's hand. Or something like that. So since Daisy has to lie flat, I go ahead and suture her. She's nearly sleeping while I work. She's so tired.

I leave at about 11 p.m. It's been a long birth. The pushing without an urge is nearly a first for me. I have only had one other birth in which that happened, and it turned out the baby was in a bad position, and we had to go to the hospital to finish the birth. I am very grateful that this one did not turn out that way. I go home, very satisfied with the birth and the beautiful little baby girl that has just made her arrival. Oh, she's not so little; she weighs 9 pounds, 2 ounces!

One thing that happened at this birth is so funny! The UPS man brought a package during the labor, and Sam must have told him that Daisy was having the baby. Sometime in the middle of pushing, the doorbell rang. Sam's mom went to the door. When she came back, she said it was the UPS man wanting to know if the baby had been born! I guess he's into all kinds of deliveries! I've never had that happen before. We laughed a lot.

One more thing. The next morning, as I'm heading to Lynet's temporary home, I get a call. It's raining cats and dogs, and my cell reception is sketchy at best. It's Sam, and I wonder what's going on. He says they're having to evacuate. The rain from Hurricane Edouard has just circled and circled their house, almost stationary. It's not letting up, and they have water in the house. So Sam gathers up all his girls and takes them to his mom's house, which is about an hour's drive away. Talk about a rough postpartum!

Daisy actually gets her herb bath at her mother-in-law's house! They actually remember to take the herbs with them as they're evacuating!

I get a little sleep that night. Emily comes in from Colorado that night at 3:30 a.m., and it wakes me up. I have only gotten two hours' sleep by that point. And then I can't go back to sleep until around 5 a.m. Then Lynet calls me at 8 a.m. telling me that she thinks she's in labor. There's no way that I'm rested. It's about this time that I begin to be grateful that Sam and Daisy didn't call me when her water broke...(to be continued)

*Names have been changed, of course.

The First of Three

2008-08-16T09:07:00.000-07:00

Friday morning, August 8, 2008, I fell out of bed and went to my knees to thank God. I was alive. I know that sounds dramatic, but I had just completed one of the hardest weeks of my life, and I was deeply grateful to the Almighty.

I did three births that week. Now that may not sound like much to an OB/GYN, or to a nurse who works in labor and delivery. Or even to another midwife. But the facts are that these three births were all to first-time moms, and they were all hard. And they were all successful home births. Needless to say, the parents and the grandparents and other family who were present were all ecstatic. And we were all also tired. I spoke with one of the grandmothers (my sister) last night about the whole event that she witnessed, and she said she still thinks with fear and trembling about how long and hard her daughter labored. That was the last of the three births. Let me go back to the first...

Oh, and, by the way, I will change the names of the people in the first two births. The last birth happened to my niece, and I have permission to use their real names.

On July 30, I called Babette to reschedule our appointment, as I had a nasty head cold, and I didn't want to give it to her. She told me then that she had had bloody show and mucus plug and some contractions. Well, she wasn't due until August 29, so I told her I would check on her as soon as possible, and to please try and rest and not go to work. I was hoping, as happens often, that her baby had just moved down into the pelvis, causing contractions, and soon they would quit.

The next day I went to her home to check on her. She had had contractions 10 minutes apart all day with an achy back. Uh oh. That sounded like early labor. I went ahead and did a vaginal check...Oh, my goodness. She was 5 cm dilated, completely effaced, and the baby was +2 station (translated that means really low). I gave her some herbs which eased the contractions down considerably, and left her with instructions to take them every 30 minutes until bedtime.

Her husband, Earl, called me at 10 pm to tell me that her water had broken. Well, pooey. No going back. I had estimated the baby's weight at 6 Lbs. 5 Oz. that evening, so I believed that we were okay with going ahead with the home birth, even at 36 weeks. (In Texas, midwives can legally attend births from 36 weeks of gestation forward.)

I arrived at their house a little after midnight on July 31. Since her water was ruptured, I did no vaginal exam. I try to do as few of those as possible under those circumstances, because of the possibility of introducing bacteria into the baby's world. Babette labored well, and soon was completely dilated and ready to push.

Pushing, however, took just as long as dilating -- nearly. We pushed in one position, then shifted to another, then another, then another. She was making progress, slowly, so we kept on going. My assistant asked me later if I had ever given up hope during this stage of this labor. I looked at her blankly, because that thought had never really crossed my mind. Obviously it had hers. But Babette kept going, and we finally began to see more and more head visible.

We did a sort of no-no at this birth. I have a birth stool that I use often to help with pushing, but I seldom use it for the actual birth of the baby because it's harder to keep the mom's tissues from tearing in this position. However, Babette gave birth on the birth stool. She just made wonderful progress there, and really didn't want to move at the end. I don't blame her. Baby Abigail's head came forth. I asked Babette to pause while I checked for cord around the neck. No cord. Okay, Earl, get ready to help me catch your baby! Her shoulders start to come forth with the next push. Oh, hold it, Babette, the baby has a hand up! Hang onto the baby Earl, as I e-a-s-e the baby's hand out while protecting Babette's tissues! Okay, we've got it, here comes the baby! Whew! Over three hours of pushing! Man! All postpartum "stuff" is okay. Oh, and by the way, it's a girl. We didn't know beforehand. I love the surprises...

Abigail is 7 Lbs., 1 Oz. And Babette is intact. Even with birthing on the stool. As evidence of how hard she pushed she's still having some tailbone pain. I suggested that she go see her chiropractor. Her tailbone may be bruised, or fractured. She confessed that she had had a hairline fracture in her tailbone when she was younger. So she might have re-injured it in the process of pushing out Abigail. Did I say she pushed hard?

Babette sure dilates quickly for a first-time mom! And with her next baby, I foretell that pushing won't be quite as hard as it was this time...

Zanzibari's, are you ready? Here I come!

2008-07-30T14:32:00.000-07:00

I know, I know, it hasn't been a month since I last posted, but I'm going to again anyway!

Ever since I was a midwife student, one of the things I longed to do was to serve missionaries. I'm a missionary kid, and my parents had four children on the mission field. I was one of those children. So I know the desires of some missionaries to just stay put for the big happening. And I also know that some missionaries just don't have access to good care during labor and delivery. So, one of the goals I have had is to deliver babies for missionaries.

I have that chance this year. Bob and Rachael Gwassa, for whom I delivered their first baby on January 1, 2007, are now missionaries on the island of Zanzibar, off the east coast of Africa. They left to go there in December of 2007. Now they are expecting a second child, and we would all like it if I could be there again for this birth.

I will be leaving for Zanzibar on December 1 or 2 of this year, as Rachael's due date is December 12. I plan to be back home for Christmas!!

I will not be receiving a fee for this service, and I am asking for donations to cover the cost of supplies and the trip to Zanzibar. This will take approximately $2000. If you would like to help with this mission of love, you may send money to: Betsy Robinett, 509 S. Bell St., De Leon, TX 76444. If you would like for your gift to be tax-deductible, you may make your check out to Teach the Children International. If you would like more information, you may contact me at mrsnett@cctc.net.

The Whirlwind

2008-07-23T13:37:00.001-07:00

Wow! Time does get away.

Let me catch you up. There has been a lot going on...

The baby we were waiting for did come. And he was worth the wait. His was a very nice birth that had a surprise ending as far as where he was actually born -- not the bedroom but the bathroom. When he was ready to descend, he didn't fool around any at all. There were only three minutes from going to the toilet to the birth. Whew!

Then, Jackie and I went to see the kids. First we went to Lake City, Colorado. Shari and Emily reserved a cabin for us there. Lake City is so nice. It's small; you can walk anywhere in town. The elevation is approximately 8,600 feet. There are legends of cannibal guides, and there are old mines, and there are 5 "14er's" close by. "14er's" are mountains that are above 14,000 feet in elevation. We opted to climb Crystal Mountain, just behind Lake City, with an elevation of 12, 990-something feet. We didn't make it to the crest, or to Crystal Lake, but we had a very strenuous walk. We wobbled back down to our car and went to the local bakery for some much-needed lunch!

We went to the Hard Tack Mine and were led around by the guide. It was very cold and dark, informative and enjoyable.

We also took in a play while we were there. The theater is really small, and the chairs are folding chairs. The play was pretty good; we were definitely entertained. The actors were local, and the playwright for the play ("Anchor Baby") is from Colorado Springs. And the main actor reminded me of my webhost, Fred!! He both looked and acted like him.

We stayed in Lake City for two days, made sure Timothy and Emily are doing well, and then we headed toward Natalie in North Carolina.

Um. That was a long trip. We left at 6 a.m. It took us until 2:30 p.m. to get to the Colorado-Kansas border. Then, oh, Kansas is flat! And the same for hundreds of miles. Every 15 miles or so, you see a town in the distance with a white grain elevator, one or two church spires, some trees, and a water tower. But the state is very neat and clean, I'll give those farmers that. We crossed into Missouri at about 10 p.m., and went halfway through that state before we quit for the night in Columbia.

The next day we went through the rest of Missouri, then cornered through Illinois and Kentucky into Tennessee, stayed there for a while, and finally reached the Smokies. Ah, the Smokies! They hug you to their bosom! They are such welcoming mountains. I love them! With fog curling around every hollow, and trees covering all available space. We crossed over into North Carolina, and went to Natalie's camp, just south of Morganton. There we spent the night.

The next morning we took Natalie and journeyed all the way to the East Coast of North Carolina, a little spot called Swanquarter, where the ferry for Ocracoke Island leaves four times daily during the summer. It's a two-and-a-half hour ferry ride, and we sailed into Silver Lake Harbor on Ocracoke at about 6:30 p.m.

We made camp at the National Park and went out on the sand for a while. Oh that's a lovely island! The crabs scuttled around in the dark, scaring Natalie. We saw the lighthouse from our beach, a neat thing in the dark. We ate lobster and fish, and the next day we jumped the waves and scoured the sand for seashells. Jackie found a big sand dollar! He got the prize. It was a lovely sand dollar, a great memento of our day there.

During the hot part of the day, we went to the village and looked through the biggest part of their shops, got wonderful coffee confections at the coffee shop, and had a picnic where we could see some guys cleaning the catch they had made that day. Then back to the beach, to lay out on the sand after jumping some more waves.

We had to leave really early the next day, as all the ferries but that one were booked. Yes, you have to make reservations for the ferry. So we left at 6 a.m. and we took Natalie back to camp, and then continued on our way home. I felt that we needed to get back by July 14, as I was on call for another midwife who was leaving that day. So we bedded down around Commerce, Georgia.

Late that night/early the next morning, we got the phone call. It was 2:45 eastern time. Jackie's mother, our dear, dear Elsie, had just passed away. Saddened, we continued on our journey early the next morning. I know our server at the Cracker Barrel restaurant where we were having breakfast was really worried about me. I was crying all over my pancakes, and trying not to. She just said, and repeated it, "Just pray about it." Well, it was a good hard thing, and you just have to cry when you need to.

Natalie flew to Dallas that day, and got there before us. We picked her up on our way back to De Leon, arriving here at midnight. Emily and Timothy drove in from Lake City the next day. So we were all together. The funeral was Wednesday, July 16, and we all said good-bye to a grand lady. She is in no pain now, and with Jesus. We're glad, but we miss you, Elsie.

The kids all drove back to their respective states on Saturday. So that brings me up to date. Waiting for the next babies...

Busy and Waiting

2008-06-25T16:05:00.000-07:00

I've been having a wonderful time lately being a midwife. And I've been having a wonderful time lately being a person. I guess for me the two just mesh. I'm very thankful that I have a calling that fits who I am. I know that to do what you love is a gift that not very many people have.

I looked at my picture gallery (http://www.firstlightmidwife.com/) and realized that I've helped with nine births so far this year. And every single one of them has been special in a unique way. One of the interesting things about this year is that so far I have twice as many boys as girls. From April 30 to June 4, a period of five weeks, I did five births. And only one of them was a girl! Other years I've "done" more girls. I think this is actually the first year that there have been more boys. Go, boys!

So my busyness has been one of the reasons that I haven't blogged lately. Other reasons include Timothy graduating from high school. He's the last one of my children, so my days of home schooling are done. He had a graduation ceremony on May 24, along with five other homeschoolers in the area. The graduation was very nice, with each family awarding their child his or her diploma, a special speaker, a slide show, and music for their entrance that was not "Pomp and Circumstance!" (How did that piece get to be so special?!!) The day after he graduated, he and older sister Emily and their friend Melody loaded up Melody's car and left for the summer. They are currently working in Melody's sister's restaurant in Colorado. Suffering. Poor things. Jackie and I plan to go see them for a couple of days if the births that I have pending work out so that there are a couple of weeks that are "free."

Anyway, I haven't made any major changes in his bedroom since he left. His room has just become a repository (read dumping ground) for the other things that I've been rearranging around the house. I don't get all gung ho about rearranging, so I only hope that when he returns for a couple of weeks in August that he has a place cleared off to sleep and a little pathway through his room. He won't care. I know, because one of the places to be cleaned is under his bed, and I'm seriously considering using gloves when I do it. Ugh! What was he thinking!

I miss him and Emily and Natalie. Natalie is in North Carolina for the summer. She is the girls' staff coordinator at a summer camp there. This is the third year she has worked at the camp, so evidently she loves it and the people she works with. And I think they also love her. I would also like to go see her if the babies cooperate. I would love to scoop her up from camp and take her to the little island of Ocracoke off the coast of North Carolina for a day or two! Ah, the beach! It's so lovely.

Lately I've been actively waiting with my client for the birth of the next baby. Waiting is so hard, especially when your due date passes with no signs of baby coming. It's hard on the midwife, too, to keep her hands out of it! And in our instant society it really is not politically correct to wait for anything. Waiting is an art that is not in vogue, and very little practiced. It's one of the hardest things I do as a midwife. But the longer I'm a midwife, the more I realize that waiting is worth it. And I also realize that when you fiddle with the natural order of things, things get funky. If I try to get things going (read "induce labor" with natural means), invariably labor just doesn't cooperate, or the labor is long and we have to nurse it along. But it gets harder and harder for the pregnant mom and her husband to explain to all their friends and relatives that no, nothing is dangerous for the baby. The midwife is really keeping an eye on everything. It's really safe to wait. Really. So they resort to screening their calls. Sometimes they put messages on the answering machine that say something like, "Junior hasn't been born. We'll let you know when he is. Everyone's ok. Good-bye!"

Anyway, whenever he is born, we will all rejoice! And he will have been worth the wait. It will be a good birth. And you'll soon see his picture in the picture gallery. I love what I do. Have I mentioned that before?

Happy Birthday, Elsie!

2008-05-02T14:37:00.000-07:00

Today is Elsie's birthday. Elsie Robinett is my dear mother-in-law. She is 91 today. We had dinner with her and her four remaining children (we still miss you, Marilyn!)

This is my husband, Jackie, sitting with Elsie just before we ate. The wonderful meal was prepared by Sharon and Carolyn! Thank you, ladies!

And Happy Birthday, Grandma Elsie! We love you!

Transport Tryouts or Bathtub Hubbub

2008-05-02T13:33:00.000-07:00

Boy oh boy! I know, I haven't posted in two weeks. I've been thinking about different possibilities for posts, such as the completed quilt that I've been working on for four (yes, four!) years for Emily, or the wonderful radishes and strawberries that are coming out of our garden.

But what I really want to write about is the birth that happened two days ago. So I will.

I was called at 12:30 am by Betty (not her real name) to let me know her water had just broken. Everything was good. The water was clear, baby was moving, no contractions -- yet.

So I told her to see if she could go back to sleep. I tried to. It never works for me. She called again at oh, 1:30 to 2 am, I can't remember exactly when. She was now having contractions every 5 minutes, and no, she couldn't sleep. Uh huh. I couldn't either. But I didn't go to her house yet. She still sounded cheerful. First-time mom. Just a little early.

At 3 am, when Umbert (not his real name) called, I could hear Betty in the background, really working with the contractions, and she had two in the brief conversation that he and I shared. Ok, now it's time to go!

So I got there at 3:15. At 3:30, I check her and she's already at an 8! Wow! Fast for a first-time mom. By 6 am, she's pushing hard. She pushes for an hour and a half before she poops out. She's pushing with pain every time. It's hard to keep going when there's pain with the pushing. There's a bit of cervix that keeps slipping down over the baby's head and she pushes against it every time. Ouch! I try to push the cervix out of the way for her, but the baby's head is so molded that the cervix just slips right back down. It's not much cervix, just 1-2 mm thick, but enough to cause her to give up.

She wants to go to the hospital for pain relief. So we go. The problem is, the hospital won't give pain relief when you're completely dilated. So we stayed at the hospital for a whopping 20 minutes, then Betty signed out "Against Medical Advice" and we left.

The problem at this point is that she's been "complete" since 6 am, and it's now 10 am, and the contractions haven't quit, she just hasn't been pushing since 7:30 or so. Baby is fine. Mom is fine, but hurting with every expulsive contraction every 4-5 minutes. Really ouch! I mention before we leave the hospital that I have a daughter in this town. She has an apartment we might borrow, instead of having another 45-minute drive back home. Surprisingly, Betty takes me up on it!

Now I have to call Emily. Emily is thunderstruck (weirded out -- she's only 20 years old), but responds by calling me when I text her the following message: "Where are you? We need your apartment to have a birth in. This is not a joke!"

We then meet her at her apartment where she is frantically vacuuming. Oh well. We didn't come to see how clean it is, although we thank her for her efforts wordlessly. She and her roommate clear out. Funny how they don't want to be there. I would have! And I really would have appreciated some help, but oh well. Birth is not everyone's cup of tea...

So we clean the bathtub, fill it up, put Betty in it, and she gets going on the pushing again. It's now 10:47. She pushes very hard, but we're still not seeing head, although it's getting close. She gets tired after about 45 minutes, and I suggest draining the water out of the bathtub to clean it and refill it. She complies, lies on the bed for about 30 minutes, taking another break from pushing.

Back into the tub at 11:57, and this time, when she begins to push, we get another burst of energy. It's called hope! Because now, we begin to see baby's head as she's pushing. She redoubles her efforts. By 12:30 pm the baby's head is crowning, and finally, finally! her head is born. Then, her fit is so tight that I have trouble checking for cord around neck, but soon ascertain that there is none. I also realize that I will have to help this baby. Her shoulders are stuck. So I tell mom first to get on her knees in the water, then I tell her she'll have to stand up with one leg on the side of the tub. I finally get a little leverage on the baby's shoulders and we get her born. She responds very quickly to me stimulating her and suctioning a little with a bulb syringe.

At 5 minutes after the 12:41 birth, she is a perfect 10! I'm not sure what Emily will think about this birth in her bathtub, but I think it's pretty cool!

It's a good thing I thought before we left their house that I might need some basic birthing supplies in case she had the baby on the side of the road. We really made use of them at Emily's apartment!

As it was, we couldn't weigh the baby or do some of the other things we normally do postpartum until we got back home. She weighed 8 pounds, 14 ounces! Big baby, first-time mom. Oh, by the way, no stitches were needed for mom.

And we cleaned Emily's bathtub before we left.

2008-04-14T18:38:00.000-07:00

This is my birthday table! I can now officially post a picture! Hurrah! Hurrah! See how lovely it is? See the green glasses and the wonderful sunlight? Thank you, Beth, for the beautiful setting, and Rose, for the amazing flowers!

Birthday Birth Day

2008-04-09T19:52:00.000-07:00

I had a birthday yesterday. It was great, even though I'm middle-aged, or maybe especially so! I also had a birth day yesterday.

The night before my birthday, sometime between 9 and 10 pm, I think, I received a call from one of my midwife friends. She was also one of my preceptors (another word for teacher) during my days as a student midwife. She wanted to know if I would be on call for her for an impending birth. I immediately thought, "Well, I purposely cleared tomorrow because it's my birthday." But I didn't say that. I said I didn't have anything going. She knew it was my birthday.

Anyway, she had two births going at the same time, and she did the proper thing; she went to the one that was going faster. Then she got another midwife to cover the slower birth. Me. Perhaps she would make it to both. I thought she might, as she said that this particular client had her water break early that morning, and had erratic contractions all day. First-time mom. So I thought maybe my midwife friend would make it to both births.

Well, the husband of the lady that was being saddled with my care, I'll call him David, called just shortly after my friend called. He was wondering how long they should give the "every five minute" contractions before calling me to come, since it would be a 2-hour drive for me. So much for erratic contractions. I asked him to observe his wife -- I'll call her Mary -- for 30 more minutes and then call me back with a report. He called me back. By this time it's 11:18 p.m. They're ready for me to come.

I did go. And the birth was lovely. David and Mary coped with having a stranger come into their home to catch their lovely new baby girl. And I now have a baby that I caught on my birthday. That's a first. It was a nice birth, pretty fast for a first-time mom. Total labor time including pushing was about 11 hours. That's nice, but it still seems long if you're the laboring mom.

I got home yesterday morning by 11:30. I laid down for a nap about 12 noon, waking up at 2 p.m.

Then I got to go to a dinner party held in my honor. The Crazy Ladies cooked for me. The Crazy Ladies are me, Beth, Suzan, and Rose, and Rebekah when she's not in California. They invited my mom and my sister and her kids, and Timothy, my son, as well. And of course Beth's husband Bob and my husband Jackie were there as well. If I knew how to post a picture it would be of the table set for us. Aren't the green glasses lovely? (Just imagine them!! Ok, ok, I'll try to learn how to put a picture up! Soon!)

We had greens from Beth's garden with Suzan's special dressing, then Rose's meat loaf, wonderful baked potatoes, and cooked greens (again from Beth's garden) with garlic bread that Bob prepared. And for dessert there was red velvet cake, made with love by Suzan. She doesn't even have an oven at her house! It took all kinds of maneuvering, but it was so jazzy when finished! It had sprinkles, and curlicue candles that were just fun!

I had three birthday cards in the mail, and one on my email, and several special calls from friends and family...it was a really nice birth day birthday. Thanks, everyone. Thanks, Lord.

Initial Post and Thoughts on False Labor

2008-03-31T12:37:00.000-07:00

Hi, and welcome to my first post! I'd love to have you come by and visit often; that is, assuming that I will post often...

I am a midwife. You may see posts on midwifery, or on my everyday life in rural Texas.

Sometimes I will be busy catching babies; other times I may just be quilting.

Today I'm meditating on false labor. Why is it called false labor? Well, it tricks us into thinking it's the real thing. A false labor may drag on for days. And what characterizes it? Generally, no change. The intensity stays the same, or gets lighter. The spacing of the contractions stays the same, or gets longer. And the length of the contractions stays the same, or gets shorter. Also, if you have to "baby" the labor, it's not. In other words, if you have to stay in the same position for the contractions to keep coming, then you have yourself a false labor.

Some midwives call it prelabor. This is because they assume that these contractions are actually doing something. The truth is, we don't know. But false labor happens often enough that you don't need to feel ashamed if it fools you. One of my midwife teachers is fond of saying that the record for false labors is ten! In other words, there was one lady who was fooled 10 times before she actually went into labor. That should comfort those of you (like me) who have been fooled into thinking, "Here we go!" just to be let down when the contractions quit.

I went on a false labor run yesterday. It was lovely. I visited with the lady, her man, and her children. Baby was fine. We ate well. Mr. Husband cooked free-range eggs, upside down pineapple muffins, pancakes, and fresh organic fruit. We rested. And then I came home. At one point she thought her water had broken. An amniotest came back negative. No amniotic fluid. No problem.

I had a nice drive back home, where I await the next call. Who knows where it will lead to next?